Dear God,

With his devastating and resplendent and transcendent Heavy, Kiese Laymon conjured, created and gave us a thing that each person who conjures, creates and gives things aspires to do, and that’s to create a thing that only he could have created.

To quote Shug Avery from The Color Purple, “I’se married now!”

Before flying there for Essence Fest in July, I’d never been to New Orleans. Since then, I’ve been there twice, once for Panama’s bachelor party, then Sunday and Monday of this week to speak at Tulane University.

This goes out to you and you — you know who you are, so stop me if you’ve heard this one before. You’re driving along a thoroughfare, minding your own business. Maybe you’re even listening to your favorite true-crime podcast as you venture into work, traffic court, or to that Brazilian wax appointment you’ve been…

Earlier this year, several folks in my family (including myself) did some variation of DNA testing. You know what I’m talking about; the tests where you send in your DNA and apparently, the government owns and can clone you, but you get to find out, especially if you’re black, that maybe your family originates from…

I have either run out of things to think and say about the things Kanye West is (presumably) thinking and (definitely) saying or I have exhausted the will to make that effort. I’m not sure which. Either way, the result is the same. MAGA Kanye possesses the intersecting veneers of “fascinating” and “disturbing,” but…

If there’s a silver lining so far with the Trump presidency—and one attribute that I’m honestly grateful he possesses—it’s that Donald Trump has a nose for trash black people.

Last month, soccer players at Connellsville Area High School in Connellsville, Pa., were accused of directing racial slurs at black players during a game against Penn Hills High School in Pittsburgh. The Connellsville players and coaches denied this. A hearing featuring students, parents, coaches and administrators…

On Friday, I will be a part of a daylong wedding ceremony that will merge Ghanaian and African-American traditions for one glorious and black-as-the-fuck celebration. The members of the wedding party will change wardrobes three times. I’m currently in a text thread with Panama and each of the 11 groomsmen. Topics…

In a Breakfast Club interview in July, very tall Pittsburgher Wiz Khalifa expressed dismay at the horror of men eating bananas in public.

Earlier this week, millions rejoiced as sentient Facebook algorithm Taylor Swift emerged from her rhinestone-studded cocoon of caucasity to reveal that she recently discovered racism and the importance of voting. This act apparently caused a massive voter registration spike. According to Kamari Guthrie, director of…

Three weeks ago, while Panama and I were doing a talk at Princeton University, I shared the story of how, although we first met in 2004 and started VSB in 2008, we didn’t meet in person until our three-year anniversary party in D.C. in 2011.

One of the fun things about this here semi-charmed life of mine is that over the course of the past, say, 12 years, I’ve had the opportunity to meet more famous folks than I can shake a stick at. At this point, it’s harder for me to remember who all I’ve met; I’ve probably forgotten more folks than I can remember.

I do not know the name of the spider who decided to fuck with me while I was driving home last night. He looked like his name could have been Ivan. Or perhaps Svetlana. Maybe even Sharkeisha. What I do know is that this lone-wolf spider decided that he was going to play with my emotions and gaslight me for the better…

Earlier today, Shannon Sharpe posted a picture on Instagram that can only really be described as a smorgasbord of smoke. A blackness lasagna, maybe. Blackness bukkake, perhaps. Either way, it looks like he’s either planning for the blackest game night ever or asked the hotel room service for a rush order of advanced…

Before we get going here, I’d like to be very, very clear: I’m in no way clowning Lil’Jordan Humphrey by calling his name (his first name) the Blackest Name Ever. In fact, I find this to be a compliment and culturally significant. We’ll get back to that.

Remember way, way, way, way, way back when, when I was like, “Y’all are pretending to enjoy LaCroix,” and some of y’all were like, “Blasphemy! La Croix is the nectar of the Gods!”

It’s no secret that I live in Washington, D.C. While I’ve had a love-hate relationship with this city for various reasons, it’s home. No matter where I go in the world, even when I’m back in Atlanta or Madison/Huntsville, Ala., at this point in life, D.C. is home. I’ve lived in the D.C. urea for 17 years at this…

Kanye West—you may have heard of him—is on the move. On the heels of recent comments about the 13th Amendment and his apparent undying love for our current president and emergency alerter, Kanye has decided to venture to Somewhere In Africa to finish recording his second (you could argue third) album of 2018, Yandhi.…