For most of my adult life, I’ve been the kind of slim that inspired a stranger to tell me “If you could just eat a pork chop sandwich, you’d be alright!” In the fall of 2017, when my husband and I learned I was pregnant, I figured this baby would be that sandwich—but not anything more than that.

I’ve been to a lot of funerals in my life, so many that I really have no idea what that number is. The first funeral I vividly remember attending was in high school for a friend who went to my school. While the rumor mill was full of conspiracy theories, it was determined that he accidentally killed himself while

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