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The Grammys happened Sunday night. Bruno Mars won everything, Jay-Z won nothing and Rihanna made everyone pregnant. Basically, business as usual. Except it wasn’t. Because Katie Holmes—who is one half of Hollywood’s second-most “I guess they really are together, huh?” couple (Laura Dern and Baron Davis are the standard-bearers there)—came out to present an award with finger waves on her head. And finger waves on Katie Holmes’ head is not business as usual. THIS IS A NEW BUSINESS!

I am not going to write about cultural appropriation or anything of that sort today because I’m sure people much smarter and much more serious than I am will do that. Instead, here is a list of people the NEW-BUSINESS FINGER WAVES Katie Holmes looks like now:

  1. The love interest in every Aaron Hall video.
  2. Literally every white woman named Lisa.
  3. The lead singer of an all-white knockoff of Xscape called Ovrsee.
  4. The featured model on a pamphlet for a highly rated nurse practitioner program.
  5. A white woman dating a famous and middle-aged black comedian.
  6. The alpha cast member on Love & Hip Hop: Salt Lake City.
  7. Every girl I had a crush on in seventh grade.
  8. Rachel Dawes if Batman Begins was based in Detroit instead of Gotham.
  9. Someone who has been through some things but is just doing a lot better these days and you’re happy for them because it was rough for a while.
  10. What we’d probably expect Rachel Dolezal to look like if we’d just heard about her and didn’t actually see any pictures of her.