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I just got back from a family vacation on Martha’s Vineyard. I tried to do some work. It was a fool’s errand for many reasons. In fact, trying to find any time to get actual factual, back to life, word is bond work done was pointless. It was one of the more difficult things I’ve tried. I know you feel me; some of you have absolutely gone on vacation and were like, “Yeah, I’ll knock out this deck when I get a solid hour.”

There are no solid-hour blocks. In fact, here’s a list of shit that feels impossible but seems easier than trying to find the time during a family vacation to get work done.

1. Run an 11-second 100-meter dash on sand

2. Stop a child from chasing a ball into a street even though the child has a 10-meter head start

3. Not fall out of a hammock even when two too many children decide to get into it with you even though you were minding your own business

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4. Grill in the middle of a rainstorm

5. Put four to five kids down for a nap at the same time

6. Get those same four to five kids to sleep at a reasonable hour when all you want to do is drink some of that adult Kool-Aid that’s been percolating in the kitchen for a few hours

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7. Catch much-needed moments of coolness while staying in a house without air conditioning during a very muggy, 80 degree-plus weather week

8. Navigate a side-by-side tandem stroller through pseudo-hordes of people on really small sidewalks

9. Keep a 2-year-old’s shirt clean while feeding him the biggest small scoop of ice cream ever scooped

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10. Maintain a sandless car after spending a day on the same beach where you ran that under 11-second 100-meter dash