Madonna Sucks The Everlasting Living Human Spirit Soul Out Of Drake

Christopher Polk/Getty Images for Coachella
Christopher Polk/Getty Images for Coachella

During a Coachella performance of his song, "Madonna," the actual Madonna joined Drake onstage for a special guest performance. But, wait there's more. She ended the performance by forcing a kiss on young Aubrey, much to his chagrin. Seriously, homie looked like when our mama used to force-feed us Tussin whilst inflicted with the cold virus (and every other ailment ever, because Tussin fixes everything if you a Black mama). (Editor's note: Or, better yet, how I imagine my dad looked when his mom used to make him eat Vicks VapoRub.)


Ouch. I bet Christina Aguilera is NOW glad everyone forgot Madonna also kissed her after Britney Spears.

Due to Drake's reaction, I can't help but wonder what a kiss from Madonna must (unfortunately) taste like. Gluten-free Rolaids? A Martian accent? A chicken sandwich (And not a piece of breaded chicken, but an actual live chicken between two slices of bread)?

Staff Writer, Entertainment at The Root. Sugar, spice & everything rice. Equipped with the uncanny ability to make a Disney reference and a double entendre in the same sentence.

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Im sure a kiss from Madonna tastes like…

Week old italian subs, Virginia slims, Bengay, white crayons, earring backings, LeBron's headband, your index finger after you just changed a tire, Crystal Pepsi, Nail polish remover, the 86 Lakers, Crown Apple, divorce, Derrick Rose's meniscus, dreams deferred, 465 Credit scores, and Youtube ads

I feel for Aubrey tho, bad kisses are traumatic experiences. I'll go 100 to 0 real quick if a kiss is bad