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Popeyes Signature Sauces, Ranked

Illustration for article titled Popeyes Signature Sauces, Ranked
Photo: Shutterstock (Shutterstock)

I’m Black. I love Popeyes. My Black love for Popeyes is further proven by the fact that I want to put an apostrophe in Popeyes (ya know, like Popeye’s) so badly and I keep having to erase it. Every. Single. Time. Apostrophes were unnecessary? That’s Black love.

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Anyway, I love Popeye’s—fuck it, the apostrophe stays—and especially their tenders. And if you order tenders you are probably going to ask for some sauce(s). You know what I hate more than other things? I hate when I order Popeye’s tenders—now I’m just being gratuitous—on, like DoorDash, and they forget my dipping sauces. Whew, chile. Anyway, Popeyes—God ain’t done with me yet—has, according to its website, six signature sauces and two seafood sauces.

Well, I like all of their sauces, including the seafood sauces. But everyone can’t be the best. There can only be one...No. 1. So let’s rank their sauces.

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1. Barbecue

2. Bayou Buffalo

3. Sweet Heat

4. Blackened Ranch

5. Cocktail

6. Tarter

7. Buttermilk Ranch

8. Mardi Gras Mustard

Fight me, bro.

Panama Jackson is the Senior Editor of Very Smart Brothas. He's pretty fly for a light guy. You can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking all her brown liquors.

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DISCUSSION

Back in the day, Popeye’s used to serve their nuggets/tenders not only with sauce, but this little sugar packet of something called Cajun Spice that you could add to the sauce and make it more spicy and cajunlicious. I loved that shit so much that even though I had leftover Cajun Spice in that tore-off packet, I saved it like it was some kind of multicultural cocaine. Made everything from fries to turkey 300% better. I miss those little packets.