20 Things We Pretend to Love That We Need to Admit Are Trash, Ranked

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20. Postcards, greeting cards, business cards and just cards, generally

(Trash communication stand-ins)

19. Stand-alone mustaches

(Trash facial hair)

18. Democracy

(Trash government)

17. Feet

(Trash body part)

16. Neckties

(Trash clothing)

15. High school

(Trash schooling)

14. Nostalgia

(Trash memories)

13. ’80s rap music

(Trash music)

12. Selfies

(Trash pictures)

11. Attending sporting events in person unless you have great seats (but even then, only, really, basketball and hockey, which are made better by being seen live) 


(Trash sports viewing)

10. Fingering

(Trash sexual act)

9. The concept of saving money

(Trash planning)

8. Grass

(Trash vegetation)

7. Baths

(Trash bathing)

6. Sundays

(Trash day)

5. Dating

(Trash way of getting to know someone you’re romantically interested in)

4. Any season that isn’t spring or summer

(Trash months)

3. Beer

(Trash beverage)

2. Most people

(Trash humans)

1. Coffee

(Trash caffeine-delivery system)

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About the author

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB and a columnist for GQ.com. His debut memoir in essays, What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker (Ecco/HarperCollins), is available for preorder.