Photo: iStock

I’m a creative. I like to think that I’m good at it. At the very least, I’m good enough at it to get paid to do it like I’m doing it for television. Do you know what this means? I’ll tell you what it means: It means that while it brings home the bacon, it often gets viewed as “fun,” and because it’s fun, it’s not a “real” job.

What is a “real” job? Glad you asked.

“Real” job noun. definition. 1. employment that a person hates 2. work that is not fun, is mundane, definitely does not bring enjoyment. ex: Panama don’t got a “real job” cuz that nigga like what he does.

Advertisement

Not only does I not got a real job, but nobody thinks I need to carve out a workday to do my not-a-“real” job. I have had actual conversations with real people who have told me that I should really be free whenever I want because it can’t take long to write one of those blog thingys.

Apparently, if your job is fun (or something that you want to do), it doesn’t require you to actually “work,” unlike the people who hate their shit, so you should be free 90 percent of the day because you can’t possibly need to be, you know, anywhere working and shit. Mayhaps I just think shit and it dictates itself. I should be unavailable for two, maybe three minutes tops.

And you know what? This ain’t the only job that nobody thinks requires actual work to do. I’ve had at least two other jobs (paying jobs) that folks didn’t view in a “work” capacity. Such as? Such as:

1. Nightclub Manager

No, we don’t just take shots with everybody. I mean, yes, we do that. But we also have to count the money at the end of the night, tip out bartenders and barbacks, stay up way later than everybody else and not get shut down, all while hoping that super-fickle people come back over and over again so that we can stay open. It’s a thing, boo. It’s a thing.

Advertisement

2. Club Promoter

There are people I know who do this AS their whole-ass living. They make beaucoup bucks. It might not look like a real job to some folks, but do you know how much work it requires to be “on” all the time and meeting new people? Every single person is potential money. Most people I know hate talking to people they don’t know for more than 37 seconds. Imagine that’s your entire job. PLUS convincing them to come hang out with you. All day, every day.

3. YouTube Vlogger

Making videos isn’t hard. Any fool with an iPhone can do that. But most of you people’s videos are trash. In fact, I curse many people out daily because of Facebook Live and Instagram stories. It turns out, most people are not that interesting. So putting together videos that ARE? It’s work, B. You know how hard it is to be interesting all the time? Probably not. Meanwhile, I know several folks personally who have managed to turn it into a real revenue stream. Looks easy because folks who are good at that shit make it so.

Advertisement

4. Musician

Natural talent often seems effortless, though the years of hard work are what makes it look that way. So people think that because you’re musically inclined, you just wake up with “The Next Great Song” and spend the rest of your days on drugs, drank or being weird. It takes effort to look effortless, especially when you’re on drugs, drank and extra weird.

5. Radio Personality

Life would be grand if people could just show up to work and start talking. That’s not how any of this works, though. Lots of preparation goes into being able to fill four to five hours of airtime every day so you don’t change the channel. Respect the hustle. Also, not everybody is good at this. At all. Even some folks who get paid to do this are not good at this. At all.

Advertisement

6. DJ

Just because you “know music” doesn’t mean you know how to rock a party or put together five hours’ worth of music for a night. It takes a lot of practice to blend, mix and curate crates for different events. It takes tons of practice and skill to be a good DJ, not just waking up and saying, “I’m feeling very DJ-like today.” I tried that shit. Then I quit and realized I’d leave it to the professionals.