Photographer Jesse Frohman and Morrison Hotel Gallery owner Peter Blachley attend the "Kurt Cobain by Jesse Frohman" exhibition press preview & reception at the Morrison Hotel Gallery on April 5, 2012, in New York City. (Fernando Leon/Getty Images

Recently, I saw a video featuring America's most popular and liked light-skinned dude, Blake Griffin (liked being the operative word; Terrence Howard is more popular but nobody actually likes him) helping some ne'er do well folks (Jarrett and Traci "who says 'it's SO gangster' at the least gangster thing ever…I hate her) from ClevverTV interpet the lyrics from Fetty Wap's banger "Trap Queen". You know the premise, some white folks get ahold of a song and attempt to decipher the lyrics, man on the street style, because they can't remember what any of the words mean from the other 2,000 times they tried to decipher the same damn song. Also, they never EVER go to (rap) genius.com, either. Never. This video is equal parts aggravating, annoying, and cringeworthy. It's aggravating (and annoying) because this is what happens when mainstream America hears a song and attempts to pretend like they aren't the reason Urban Dictionary exists and then actively douches out on it. And its cringeworthy watching a Black person attempt to explain shit to white people while trying not to damage the Black community explaining some shit that's, let's face it, is a wee bit ignorant.

The intentional ignorance and mockery of the hosts annoys me. Sure, I do the same. But Fetty Wap is MY peoples. I can do that. I respect the culture. These fuckers are just being reckless with my culture. Everything about the hosts tone screams judgement. Even Blake Griffin - who I hope was just walking down the street and got roped into it and didn't actually sign up for this - seemed annoyed by their questions and subliminal shots at our culture.

Fuck them is the main bullet point.

It IMMEDIATELY made me think about the fact that you have NEVER seen a bunch of people on the street trying to decipher Taylor Swift lyrics. Or John Mayer, this generations Michael McDonald, aka The Big Inarticulate. It just never happens. Granted, hip hop is more ubiquitous and they're usually asking about songs that white folks have heard because radio has gotten ahold of them, are sing songy, and therefore the type of shit drunk white kids would sing at a Gangster Rap Frat Party! And for them, since there's such little respect for Black culture ANYWAY, lampooning Black music is just par the course. Let me get this right, you're acting all fuckfaced because you don't understand slang? Cool. Blow me. Quit mocking our creativity.

It ALSO made me wonder what it WOULD be like to do the same with some of mainstream America's favorite songs. Like, say, I don't know, Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit". That is one of the most famous songs ever. But I'd wager that most people don't even know the words, much less what the fuck Kurt Cobain (RIP) is even talking about. I left my video equipment in my other pants, so I'll just have to do the heavy lifting on this one myself.

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(Lyrics in bold; analysis in living color)

Nirvana - "Smells Like Teen Spirit" Nevermind 1991

Load up on guns, bring your friends
It's fun to lose and to pretend
She's over bored and self assured
Oh, no, I know a dirty word

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Can I be honest with you? Until today, I honestly had no fucking clue what the words were to this first verse. After reading them, I can say that literally hadn't even the FOGGIEST idea what he was saying. I've been making up words for 22 years now. I'm going to go out on a limb and say I'm not alone here either. Be that as it may, what the fuck is he talking about? I know what all of these words mean individually, but this combination is, sad to say, foreign to me. This whole fuckin' verse is a non-sequitur. Maybe thats the charm. It means everything and nothing, which was kind of Cobain's thing. Fuck. I think I just broke the matrix. Like, "load up on guns, bring your friends…", I mean that sounds like Friday night in Alabama. Fuck it, let's all go shoot shit. Anything in particular? I just told you bro…shit. Shoot at whatever.

I'm good with him until the next line because I can't make it relate to the first line. "It's fun to lose and to pretend…" I mean, I guess. I think Lebron would feel differently. Say the Cavs lose (definitely not fun) and he has to pretend to be like, "yeah, we lost to a better team blah blah blah", I'm sure he would find no fun in the loss or pretending to believe the Warriors are better. Unless, he means to lose YOURSELF and to pretend TO BE SOMEBODY ELSE. Which, why not just say that? It's your song bub. I mean you can't defend this now, you're dead, Kurt. I'm just saying, I'm lost and we're only 14 words in. This is actually an impressive feat.

The next two lines…I mean. Aight. You win. I can't make the first stanza make any sense. Is she over being bored? Or like REALLY bored. But she's also self-assured which I suppose is a good thing - confidence and all - but fuck. Shit, I guess I know a dirty word too. Kurt out here winning and I'm losing. How? I don't know, man.

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Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello

This is easy enough. That "how low" keeps throwing me for a loop though, mostly because I don't think even Kurt Cobain knew he was inspiring an entire subgenre of hip-hop hell beng on getting women to get as low as possible. He was brilliant in his unintelligibleness. This is a good point to mention how much I actually fucking love this song. Like, real love, of the MJB variety. Kurt's vocals are perfect.

With the lights out it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us
A mulatto, an albino
A mosquito, my libido, yeah, hey, yay

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You are a lie and a cheat Joe Jackson if you can tell me that you've found meaning in this chorus. It's like people who tell me that The Matrix 2 is really good, I just don't get it. You're right. I don't get it because its non-sense. Though, I'm giving major kudos for that combination of words. Mulatto? Albino? Mosquito? Libido? Hey, here we are now, Kurt. Entertain us with an explanation. <‚ÄĒ-Things I would have said in 1991. Again, its moot in 2015. Because dead.

I'm worse at what I do best
And for this gift I feel blessed
Our little group has always been
And always will until the end

Aight, b.

Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello

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I wonder how many different ways there are to say "hello" in the world. I'm sure I could look this up. I'm also sure I won't. So if you know, feel free to let me know. In the meantime, hello. That's the American way. I'm from America where saying "no offense" means you can't be offended by what I say next. No offense, you fucking suck people who fucking suck. What am I talking about? Who knows anymore. I'm worse at what I do best. It's a gift. I'm waaaaaaaaaaaaaay up I feel blessed.

With the lights out it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us
A mulatto, an albino
A mosquito, my libido, yeah, hey, yay

Mmhmm.

And I forget, just why I taste
Oh, yeah, I guess it makes me smile
I found it hard, it's hard to find
Oh, well, whatever, nevermind

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Amazingly, this is the most sensical (is that a word?) stanza in the whole song. It's somewhat linear and also gets to the heart of what I think the song is about: nothing. It's like the ONE time he had a linear thought (tasting good stuff does make me smile too) he's like fuck that, nevermind. After he found it hard to find, mind you. What is it? Here's a better question, what isn't it? Consider your mind blown. You're welcome.

Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello

With the lights out it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us
A mulatto, an albino
A mosquito, my libido

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I got nothing. You got nothing. Nobody has nothing. That sounds like Nirvana lyrics. But…

…it smells like teen spirit.

You're welcome.

"Fuck this, man" ~ Jay-Z "What More Can I Say" The Black Album