A List of Things That Just Ain’t Worth the Trouble

Photo: Jason Kempin (Getty Images)

1. Fireworks

2. Eating Maryland blue crabs

3. Jogging

4. Standing in most lines

5. Long-distance relationships

6. Most white people

7. Regret

8. School reunions

9. Crowds

10. The NFL

11. Rinsing dishes before they’re placed in the sink

12. Defending the misdeeds of famous people

13. Cheap suits

14. October

15. New Year’s resolutions

16. Memberships to porn sites

17. Twitter

18. Hitting people with your fists

19. Patience, usually

20. 2018

21. The Walking Dead

22. America

23. Rationalizing rap lyrics and/or pretending they don’t blatantly contradict your politics

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24. Carving stations

25. Googling yourself

26. Networking

27. Tax refunds

28. Being cordial and pleasant when interacting with a person you don’t like

29. Gospel rap

30. Loyalty to anything—employers, institutions, brands, your country, etc.—other than a very small number of people

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About the author

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB and a columnist for GQ.com. His debut memoir in essays, What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker (Ecco/HarperCollins), is available for preorder.