Congregation of St. Panama Jackson the United Methodist Baptist Pentecostal AME Church of God in Christ Episcopal Primitive Missionary Baptist Down By The Riverside Holiness Church, please bow your heads…again:

Dear 175 lb, carpenter god/God, afro-pic utilizing banned from the USA, Jesus, I’m tired. My feet are weary even though you’ve allegedly been carrying me whenever I go to the beach. Though, I'm saying, they don't look like Birkenstocks in the sand is all I'm saying. Royal heathen Kevin Gates is not tired despite having six jobs, but I’ll bet that not one of those jobs is watching CNN or keeping up with national politics, Father God. For if it were, he’d be tired too. Downright droopy even.


Lord, every day is a new thing to protest. Send the saints gift cards for New Balance, Jesus, because folks are going to spend a lot of time standing around yelling. Jesus be a lozenge for justice for all those individuals who protest one cause only to look at their smart phones and have to walk somewhere else to protest another. Spritely spirit, it’s been two entire weeks and Lucifer’s trumpeter has created an atmosphere of un-rest and disruption, Lord. Father God, they're making up massacres.

I can’t take it no more. The more I watch CNN the less I want to watch CNN and the more I long for a kitten meme. When I wake up in the morning, taking those precious breaths that you bestow upon my soul and body, Father God, the first thing that I do is open my “News” app to see what shenanigans may have been committed in the 6 hours that I slumbered and dreameded of a time when the free world wasn’t being guided by an idiot. Precious Lord, it’s not that I won’t stop, it’s that I can’t stop looking at and reading news to find out just how far into a death spiral this country is heading.

And singular deity of the soul, how are these news sites able to crank out the same story 100 times forcing me to read for a new angle? There is a negative information overload and for some reason I think that people who can reason are the only ones reading and giving any of the cares, lord. I turn to Fox News Channel and they’re all smiling and laughing. They’re happy, Lord. How is there so much jubilation, happiness, and smiling in your kingdom while at the same doggone time there ain’t nan smile to be found on news channels where folks of color and minorities dwell?

And another thing, Carpenter Jesus, can we get a moratorium on Sean Spicer? I can’t stand the man, personally - your father ain’t done with me yet - since he aligned himself with evil. Without any of the conviction of Tupac, he steps out into the crowd and does the worst job of defending non-sense of all time. He's traipsing out a house of lies on top of a house of cards day in and day out. It would be one thing if you could tell he believed in what he was saying but he clearly does not, Lord. Delivert him. Delivert him.


Jesus, be a pillow and comforter for the souls of the weary who are out here trying our best to be involved in the process while feeling like the entire process is straight basura.

You know what else tires me out, Jesus? Looking in the faces of people I know voted that nincompoop into office and not being able to speak my mind because I need to stay employed. That is tiring beyond measure. If tired was measurable, it would be a whole measuring cup full. A solid 16 ounces. Not 40 ounces of love, just 16 ounces of why, why? Is it human nature? Lord? Can you hear me? I know you can hear me. I’ve even got evangelical Bluetooth in this piece, Father.


Lord, grant me the serenity to only watch VH1 or Bravo for a little while and center my soul with some ratchetness that doesn’t threaten to catapult the world into World War III.

Lordt. I just can’t take it no more. I just can’t. I need a nap. A nap of salvation. Mine eyes still see the glory but they’re bloodshot from paying attention to the world being left for my children.


I’m exhausted, Father God. Field Mob was sick of being lonely and Mystikal was sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Well, I’m done lord. I need a break. Jesus be a breakroom with Centric so I can watch Moesha. Oh, and thank you for giving Beyonce some twins. The Black coalition thanks you. And also for giving Barack and Michelle some fun in the sun and a dorky hat for Barack to wear during said fun in the sun.


Namaste. Ase.


Panama Jackson is the Senior Editor of Very Smart Brothas. He's pretty fly for a light guy. You can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking all her brown liquors.

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