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Unless you live under a rock, you probably heard and saw Adele's new song and video for her first single off the upcoming November release, 25, entitled "Hello".

She's coming for you.

She's coming for me.

She's coming for us all.

Adele saw that Taylor Swift was set to gross (on average) a million dollars a day this year (she's not) and decided she wanted to make two million a day, with half of that money paid with the souls of those who have had relationship regrets. Adele is like Ursula from The Little Mermaid, looking at us poor unforunate souls (so sad, so true) and instead of helping us, she's writing soundtracks to our ineptitudes and difficulties and making you stare out of the window on the train ride of your life only for you to realize that in actuality it's only about 3am and three niggas don' got hauled off into an ambulance, two niggas done started bussin' and one nigga took his shirt off talkin' about, "who else wanna fuck with Hollywood Courts?"


RIP Hollywood Courts.

And RIP to that relationship that you were in that has you listening to "Hello" and wishing you could say that one last thing to make it all better while realizing that it won't change anything and you're all probably better off. Which is a hard realization to make for many people. Humans have this insatiable desire for closure and reconciliation. And Adele is like the spokeswoman for every emotion involved in the entire process. Of everything.

And who hasn't felt a desire to apologize to somebody for something they've done to another person? Even years after the fact. Growth is a real thing and we all know that we've broken hearts. I'm not innocent here. The rub here is that - and it's intimated in this song - usually the person we've hurt has moved on because they've been forced to (or at least they've put you into the recesses of their mind) so they don't need or want that conversation. Our conscience might be holding onto something that will not get solved by talking to that other person.


Truth be told, reopening old wounds via an "apology" almost never goes the way we think it will anyway. The more truth to be told is that often times, the BEST resolution in most situations is for both parties to go their separate ways without attempting to "clear the air" and get "closure", which is an overrated thing.


Well, by the time most of us get to the point of deciding we want to apologize, the apologee has moved on and is "okay" or at least okay enough to proceed into new situations. And here comes Adele trying to make phone calls from the other side dredging up old shit. And in nearly no situation ever is it useful to bring up old shit.


Hello from the other side indeed.

Adele decided to just go on ahead and speak to all of our lives like we don't already know. You ain't right, girl.

I love Adele. Her voice is amazing. Her songwriting is amazing. Her ability to use her voice and songwriting to vocally tap into the exact emotion necessary to put me square in my feelings is amazing. She is amazing.


Quick story.

Do you know how I got into Adele? In the oddest twist of fate, I got into Adele via Wale. Yes, rapper, Wale. I've met the man, and even sat on a panel with him, but do not know him personally. But one day, a looooooooooong time ago, I was watching some video of him as he was in his more surly days and doing the college campus tour rounds and in one clip, he loads up Adele's "Chasing Pavements" and starts singing his ass off. I'd never listened to an Adele song before that but I was so amused by this video of Wale singing and how epic the hook sounded, that I cued the song and was immediately taken by that song in particular. I mean…should I give up? Should I just keep chasing pavements? What if it leads nowhere? I NEEDED TO KNOW THE ANSWERS.

That damn Adele came for me and I ain't even send for her. I was stuck. That was on her album 19. So by the time 21 came out in  2011 and Adele was popular enough to be elected President of America, Pope, and Dalai Lama…well you were there. Point is, Adele can do no wrong. And she knows it. I expect 25 to be no different.


Which ALSO means that every other popular singer should take a smoke break and let Adele go on ahead and cook. Because she's about to hop out the Wraith wearing the red jacket Drake had on in his "Hotline Bling" video on some "hello" steez.

Adele back.