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In total, I’ve watched maybe six downs of NFL football this season. I haven’t actively been boycotting; somehow, the NFL just doesn’t seem as enticing to me as it used to, so I’ve made no effort to watch any of it. And I was an NFL stan. It’s my favorite sport to watch. Of all the professional sports leagues, I was most invested in the NFL, and while you could find me in the trap, you could also find me sitting in front of my television religiously every Sunday watching whatever football games were on.

I seem to have lost that loving feeling. Temporarily, at least. And those six downs I’ve seen? I recently flew down to New Orleans, and the Thursday-night game was on in the airport.

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So why am I less invested? Is it because I’m tired of the players taking a stand and invoking politics in football? Of course not. I’m all for that shit. Hell, I both have a Colin Kaepernick jersey AND copped one of the #IMWITHKAP T-shirts from his website. Fight all the powers. I want them to keep doing it. In fact, I want them to ENTIRELY and collectively all kneel JUST to stick it to Roger Goodell, who thinks that now is the time for everybody to stand for the anthem. (I know this won’t happen.)

Hear this and hear this good: Fuck the anthem and fuck Roger Goodell. And fuck Jerry Jones and any other owner who thinks that somehow the protests are about the anthem or the flag or the military as opposed to the real issues at stake in the very communities from which many of the athletes employed by the league come. Fuck them all. Fuck ESPN, too, for suspending Jemele Hill FOR DOING HER ACTUAL JOB. If she can’t talk about football and an actual football team, what the fuck else is she supposed to do?

Real talk, I hope that Jemele just quits. I’m sure she’s under contract, so she probably can’t, but #IStandWithJemele, and while maybe she doesn’t feel like “Fuck ESPN”—perhaps they’ve been real good to her up until this point—I’m fuck ESPN yesterday, fuck ESPN today and fuck ESPN tomorrow. Oh, I lost my point. I hope that Jemele can quit and just go anywhere else and be awesome and spit her game and talk her shit for more money and with more freedom.

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Oh, and fuck Donald Trump, too. Because always fuck Trump. For many reasons, but in this case, for his own vendetta against NFL players. Like, shit, man, go run a country or something. And good lord, Mike Pence. Man, I hate that motherfucker, too. So so much.

And white people, dear white people, get over yourselves. If you are truly distracted and incensed by a bunch of black men giving a fuck about something OTHER than football utilizing the only platform you people—yes, you people—respect, then I feel sorry for your mothers. All of them. MOST folks don’t give a shit about the national anthem. Sorry, y’all really don’t. Y’all give more of a fuck about “Sweet Caroline” than singing the national anthem.

Sure, everybody stands up and either takes a hat off or places their hand over their heart, but that’s probably because you were taught to do that in elementary school and it’s a force of habit. But I find it hard to believe that everybody really gives THIS much of a fuck about the flag or the national anthem. Some do. But this many? Please. This is like those moments where you don’t really care about shit until somebody else doesn’t fuck with it, then you decide you fuck with it hardbody ONLY because they don’t fuck with it, like Kid Rock or kale.

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White people: Seriously, y’all spend so much time acting like this ain’t black folks’ country—how can you be mad when we don’t give a shit about the symbols of it? ESPECIALLY WHEN THAT’S NOT WHAT IT’S ABOUT! The only white people most of us trust are the ones on our money, and even then we’d prefer to see black faces. Harriet Tubman, anybody? Tubman, please. But somehow, again, black men giving a shit about themselves distracts you all from the truly important reason for the gathering—patriotism football.

Shit, so yeah, I entirely lost my point. But that’s kind of the point. It’s been hard for me to get excited for the football season because of everything surrounding it and just how fucking white the country has gone over football. Obviously, football is a white-consumer sport—those white dollars drive the television contracts. But everybody from the owners to the commissioner to the president to ESPN to all of these folks butt-hurt over a respectful, PEACEFUL, nonviolent protest are what’s ruining football (such that it’s ruined), not the players.

This whole country was founded on white people’s lack of respect for others (rape, pillage and murder of indigenous peoples) and their fucking protest and conquest for religious freedom.

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Freedom.

How come when groups that have been historically persecuted by the very fuckers who took their religious freedom into their own hands just say, “Hey man, shit still sucks ’round here—we’re going to quietly address this,” it’s time to call up Bull Connor’s corpse and get the dogs out again? Over a fucking sideline peaceful protest. White people were throwing Lipton into the waters of Lake Minnetonka Boston Harbor. Tea, fam. Throwing away perfectly good nonperishable items. How come white people forget their own history when it comes time for others to, ya know, get some of that freedom shit?

But again, this is my point. All of this has nothing to do with football. When I think football now, I think of bullshit and bullshit people and white folks white-folkin’ like they’ve never white-folked before. And it just makes me not feel like paying attention. Also, my team is the Washington Racists. So there’s that ball of wax, too. I honestly have no idea what their record is or their standing in the NFC East. I heard that Odell Beckham is hurt and J.J. Watt, too. Unfortunately, this season of the sport I love is just doing too much for me. And I’m not even watching.

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But if you are, how’s that going? Is it just as enjoyable as it’s always been? Real question.

Inquiring minds would like to know.