Becky With the Bold Hands: White Woman Arrested for Attempting to Pet Black Woman’s Dog Without Permission

Illustration for article titled Becky With the Bold Hands: White Woman Arrested for Attempting to Pet Black Woman’s Dog Without Permission
Screenshot: Ayanna Neptune

On the list of “Headlines I’ve always wished to write but assumed I’d never have the chance to,” “White Person Arrested for Petting a Black Person’s Dog Without Permission” might actually be No. 1, narrowly beating “Zimmerman Stampeded in Pamplona; Remains Yet to Be Found” and “Reparations Approved by Congress on One Condition: Deport R. Kelly.”

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I’ve written before on the epidemic of white people greeting and speaking to my dog before they acknowledge me. This, combined with the satisfying schadenfreude of a white person actually being arrested for #WhitingWhileWhite, has made this quite a satisfying afternoon.

Anyway, please, pretty, pretty, pretty please with sugar and berries on top, watch this video, posted by Facebook user Ayanna Neptune, of Becky With the Bold Hands’ arrest:

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Remember the hallway scene from The Matrix, when Neo first realizes all of the powers he has and uses them against Agent Smith? This video reminds me of that. Once arrested, the white woman manages to deploy every weapon in the aggrieved white woman’s tool kit.

Tears? Check! Threats? Check! A claim that she’s harmless? Check! A claim that she’s harmless ... coming 20 seconds after she tries to fight three cops? Check! Primal screams dead in the face of an armed police officer, displaying an audacious fearlessness of any sort of mortal danger? Check! References to a dog somewhere? Check! Pointed hyperventilations? Check! Targeted deployment of the word “cunt”? Check! Strange faces? Check!

I haven’t yet learned the identity of this unfortunate, serial-petting Becky. But when I do, I will share it. Just can’t have these types of thugs roaming our streets, spilling slippery tears of whiteness and harassing our pets.

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB, a contributing opinion writer for The New York Times, and the author of What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker (Ecco/HarperCollins)

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DISCUSSION

maiyshakai
Maiysha Kai

See? This is exactly when white folks don’t appreciate the depth of their privilege. I mean ... I can understand her disillusionment at being arrested for petting a dog that wasn’t hers, which I’m pretty sure she didn’t realize still falls under Statute 416: Don’t touch my hair.

But once she resists arrest and assaults the officer (“Stop kicking me!”), all bets are off, because we likely would’ve been dead when we reached in the car (and way before the officers knew we were only reaching for a dog). And this is the part where she instinctively converts to a Trump voter, because those rules were never meant to apply to her.