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Bill O'Reilly, a racist and rapey vat of lukewarm hot dog water fused into chicken feed and repurposed as embalming fluid for Antonin Scalia's corpse, is out at Fox News, after apparently the "rapey" part of the whole "racist and rapey vat of lukewarm hot dog water fused into chicken feed and repurposed as embalming fluid for Antonin Scalia's corpse" became too much of a financial burden.

He, like most first-ballot members in the White Mediocrity Hall of Fame, is a hypocritical charlatan, a chickenhawk, and a scoundrel whose prominence and career is proof that a broken clock is always right if its White, as he became rich and famous and powerful by peddling lies and blatant untruths; selling them to both the highest possible bidders and the lowest possible denominators. He's also ugly; the ghoulishness of his visage only matched by the relentless anti-beauty of his wretched soul. He is Peak White Mediocrity, Peak Creep, Peak Alternative Fact, Peak Fuck Face, Peak Hot Dog Water With Sentience, Peak Mail Order Bride, Peak Piece Of Shit, Peak Snivel-Faced Rat Bastard, and Peak Ugly.

His life and his work have made the world a worse place, and I hope the rest of his days are filled with indignities both slight and significant. That he trips and falls and breaks his wrist during his upcoming perp walk. That Chapter 11 bankruptcy hits him the moment he attempts to use his bank card to buy an Altoid. Or perhaps that someone smacks his bitch-ass in the face with a really long and sturdy straw.

Fuck him.