Black Man Who Wants To Be Dominican Dates Puerto Rican Who Wants To Be Black

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I was away from my computer for much of the day on a journey that took me to quite a few places, including The Container Store. Which although I'd never actually been there until today, has always fascinated me.

I first heard about it in a Bill Burr stand-up routine over a decade ago, in a bit where he joked about useless weekend activities his girlfriend made him do. And I thought it was a store he made up specifically for that joke. Because the idea of an entire freakin store devoted to shit you put other shit into sounds like some shit a comedian would invent for a routine.


But, lo and behold, The Container Store is real. Well, I'll now entertain the possibility of it being real. I still haven't actually stepped inside of one to verify its realness. I happened to be in a store next to The Container Store today, but I didn't go into The Container Store because a part of me wishes to continue to believe that it really is a fake store. That you'll walk in, and it's nothing but walls filled with TVs airing that same Bill Burr joke on repeat. I just refuse to fully believe that there's that many different variants of fucking Tupperware. Maybe, perhaps, it's some Kafkaesque/peak meta-type shit, and the store itself is actually the container. (Deep, I know.)

Anyway, while out today I also saw that Drake and Jennifer Lopez are apparently dating now. Good for them!

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About the author

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB and a columnist for His debut memoir in essays, What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker (Ecco/HarperCollins), is available for preorder.