Black Man Who Wants To Be Dominican Dates Puerto Rican Who Wants To Be Black

Mark Metcalfe/Getty Images
Mark Metcalfe/Getty Images

I was away from my computer for much of the day on a journey that took me to quite a few places, including The Container Store. Which although I'd never actually been there until today, has always fascinated me.

I first heard about it in a Bill Burr stand-up routine over a decade ago, in a bit where he joked about useless weekend activities his girlfriend made him do. And I thought it was a store he made up specifically for that joke. Because the idea of an entire freakin store devoted to shit you put other shit into sounds like some shit a comedian would invent for a routine.

But, lo and behold, The Container Store is real. Well, I'll now entertain the possibility of it being real. I still haven't actually stepped inside of one to verify its realness. I happened to be in a store next to The Container Store today, but I didn't go into The Container Store because a part of me wishes to continue to believe that it really is a fake store. That you'll walk in, and it's nothing but walls filled with TVs airing that same Bill Burr joke on repeat. I just refuse to fully believe that there's that many different variants of fucking Tupperware. Maybe, perhaps, it's some Kafkaesque/peak meta-type shit, and the store itself is actually the container. (Deep, I know.)


Anyway, while out today I also saw that Drake and Jennifer Lopez are apparently dating now. Good for them!

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB, a contributing opinion writer for The New York Times, and the author of What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker (Ecco/HarperCollins)

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Totally unrelated…totally.
How evil are you that:
You get into an argument with your boyfriend….
He's driving during the argument….
In the middle of the turn…
You shoot him in the head, he flips the SUV.
You climb out, run home.
This was right behind my house.…