Creighton's Greg McDermott Told His Team to 'Stay on the Plantation' Like That's a Normal Thing People Say and I Can't Stop Laughing About It

Illustration for article titled Creighton's Greg McDermott Told His Team to 'Stay on the Plantation' Like That's a Normal Thing People Say and I Can't Stop Laughing About It
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LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL I WILL NEVER NOT BE BOTH HORRIFIED AND TICKLED—TICKLEFIED—BY WHITE PEOPLE’S COMMITMENT TO INVENTING AND DISCOVERING NEW RACISMS LIKE HOW WAZE DISCOVERS NEW ROUTES HOW LAYS DISCOVERS NEW CHIPS HOW VAN JONES DISCOVERS NEW FENCES TO SQUAT ON IT IS THEIR CALLING THEIR VOCATION THEIR BIRTHRIGHT THEIR PASSION THEIR L’ AMOUR YUP I JUST DROPPED SOME FRENCH ON THIS BITCH CAUSE ENGLISH AIN’T ROBUST ENOUGH TO ENCAPSULATE THE JOY THEY APPARENTLY FEEL IN WAKING UP STRETCHING FARTING BRUSHING THEIR TEETH TAKING THEIR ZINC PILLS AND DRINKING A FRESHLY BREWED CUP OF NEW RACISMS LIKE NEW RACISM’S THE BEST THING ABOUT WAKING UP LIKE LIKE A GOOD NEIGHBOR NEW RACISM’S ALWAYS THERE THIS MOTHERFUCKER REALLY STOOD IN FRONT OF HIS BLACK-ASS BASKETBALL TEAM AND USED PLANTATION TWICE TO MOTIVATE THEM JUST IN CASE THE FIRST PLANTATION WASN’T EFFECTIVE ENOUGH PLANTATION FIESTA PLANTATION BUKKAKE A PLANTATION TURDUCKEN I KNOW AT LEAST ONE OF THEM BOYS ON THE TEAM WAS LIKE “WAIT...DID HE JUST SAY THAT?” BUT NOT BELIEVING HIS OWN EARS BECAUSE NEW RACISMS WORK LIKE THAT THEY CAN BE SO MUNDANE SO COMMONPLACE SO LETHARGIC EVEN THAT THE RACISM DOESN’T HIT YOU UNTIL AN HOUR LATER AND THEN IT HITS YOU ALL AT ONCE BASICALLY EXPERIENCING NEW RACISMS IS LIKE EATING AN EDIBLE AND OF COURSE SOME WHITE PEOPLE AND THEM HERMAN CAIN ASS NIGGAS WILL DENY THE RACISM HERE BECAUSE HE’S A BASKETBALL COACH WITH BLACK PLAYERS BLACK FRIENDS A RIHANNA SCREENSAVER ON HIS IPAD BUT LETS TRY SOMETHING REAL QUICK JUST A LITTLE EXPERIMENT LETS SAY INSTEAD OF “I NEED EVERYONE TO STAY ON THE PLANTATION” HE SAID, “I NEED EVERYONE TO STAY ON THE CONCENTRATION CAMP” THAT SOUNDS WEIRD RIGHT WELL IT ONLY DOES CAUSE CONCENTRATION CAMP IS ESTABLISHED IN THE ZEITGEIST AS A SHORTHAND FOR EVIL AND TERROR AND ATROCITY WHICH IS WHAT PLANTATIONS SHOULD BE TOO BUT WHITE PEOPLE STILL HAVE WEDDINGS THERE!

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB, a contributing opinion writer for The New York Times, and the author of What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker (Ecco/HarperCollins)

DISCUSSION

babylonsystem
Babylon System

Damons ALL CAPS is exactly my brain after many some racists incidents like this occur (over and over) and especially after the lame excuses they come up with for why it happened.

...aaaaand then some lame (white) “character witness” will come out and say:

That’s not who X is. I’ve know X for many years. X is not Racist.

Really??