In case you didn't know, Damon is getting married. In less than a week from now, he and the Gay Reindeer (I have no idea how he types that out multiple times…I felt ridiculous just now) will be a distinct, legally binding unit held to the laws of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania.
By the way, if you didn't know Damon was getting married, this is clearly your first time at VSB. Welcome. Sit yo' azz down and welcome to the Colored Section.
Anyway, Damon is getting married and he clearly couldn't be happier about it. He's written about it at least 10 times at this point in various fashion letting us know how he chose right, has struggled with guest lists (I'm still on it…konichiwa, bitches), and any other general wedding related thoughts he's felt like discussing about his upcoming nuptials.
Let me switch lanes right quick and then we'll come back to Damon's wedding.
The first wedding I went to for one of my boys was Memorial Day 2006. That summer, I went to three weddings for close friends of mine; two of my boys, and one of my homegirls and her husband, both good friends of mine. In 2012, another of my boys got married. In March of this year, another one. I got a phone call today that let me know that another one of my boys may be taking that plunge pretty soon.
And I could not be happier for any of them. If you let the media - and by media I mean TV and general societal indulgences - men don't seem to want their boys getting married. We feel like we're losing them or something. I've never in my life felt that way. I want my boys to win. When I know you got a good woman, I want you to keep that good woman. I want you to do everything in your power to not mess it up because, hell, if that woman makes you happy and you make her happy, then thrive and flourish, my nigga. Thrive and flourish.
In 98 percent of the cases of my boys getting hitched, I can easily say that the woman helped them to be better people. I don't mean that to say that they weren't good people to begin with, but I think that for most of us men, when you have a good woman, she pushes you somewhere. I've been there before (clearly not to the point of marriage). I've been with women who absolutely brought something out of me that I either didn't know was there or that I'd not given its just due. I may not be with those women now, but i should probably send a thank you card or some Girl Scout cookies or something.
So when I see these men reaching the point where they know they've found the woman they want to find forever with, well, sign me up. And I'd be willing to bet all the money you have in your accounts that most menfolks are like that when our boys get married. Sure we clown our boys…its a rite of passage. We say they're whipped. We tell them that they're giving it all up. And depending on who they are, that might be true. But its jokes. It's all in good fun. We are as happy at the weddings as women are.
I've shed a thug tear at a wedding. And I will still bust a shot through your mama's mama's house.
I will be the first in line to tell my boy's woman to make sure she's taking care of him. I've had the same core group of friends now for 17 years. Next year, they will have accounted for half of my life. We've been as close as can be over that entire period. One of my boys has been around since high school. We did college together…that's a long time to have the same friends. In fact, its not just friends anymore. That best friend thing doesn't fit after a certain point because it devalues what you have. So I've had these cats backs for a long time.
So I know we're gonna be boys forever. So there's no loss. It's all gain, even from my end as the friend. So I've always wondered where that idea that men weren't happy about their boys getting married came from. Maybe God just hooked me up with the kind of friends I could be happy for. Or maybe there really are niggas that suck major out there. Me no know. But I try to stay away from them. They get you dead.
Back to Damon and his happiness. I've known Damon at this point for something like…almost 10 years. I started blogging on my 25th birthday; literally 10 years ago last month. I'm sure I met Damon around that time, probably a few months later. We've been good enough friends to work together for at least 6 of those years. We've been there for a lot of each other's ups and downs, especially in relationships. So when he began telling me about his now fiancee and soon to be wife, to the point where he told me that he knew this was his wife, it felt good to hear. If somebody's your real friend, all you want for them is happiness. Shit, I've got exes that have managed to become real friends even after the hurricane of our relationship and I pull for their love like I'm invested in it. I want the best for them. And I want the best for Damon. And I know the Gay Reindeer…Damon did good.
This wasn't sappy nor was it supposed to be a huge group hug. I really wanted to write this just to address the fact that I've long heard that guys aren't supportive of their boys getting married and I haven't experienced that at all. But if that comes with a group hug as well, so be it. My boy is getting married; my boy who I get money with, get drunk with - and by get drunk I mean he's drunk and I'm usually pretty sober , write these bars with, and talk about life with. Because of that, I can't wait to celebrate with those two crazy kids on their special day.
And that's a beautiful thang.
Let's me know he's man enough to handle real life situations…can't gamble feedin' baby on that dope money. It might not always be sufficient.