1. St. Patrick’s Day
2. New Year’s Eve
3. Wednesday (any)
4. Columbus Day
5. The anniversary of the O.J. Simpson verdict
6. MLK Day
7. The night of a presidential election
8. Memorial Day
9. Mardi Gras
10. Black Friday
11. Saturday (any)
12. The Fourth of July
13. The first of the month
14. New Year’s Day
15. The first day of spring break
16. Monday (any)
17. Veterans Day
18. The first day of the NCAA Tournament
19. Friday (any)
20. Thanksgiving
21. Today
22. Sunday (any)
23. Good Friday
24. Christmas Eve
25. Labor Day
26. Arbor Day
27. The day after the Super Bowl
28. Someone’s birthday
29. Street-cleaning day
30. Tomorrow
DISCUSSION
I was at a grocery store on Saturday and had to go up to the customer service desk. The guy ahead of me had bought one of their cakes made for St. Patrick’s Day. He was going into them because the icing on the flag wasn’t orange enough for the Irish flag. He was pissed. The customer service guy just looked at them and asked “What do you want me to do?” And they said “I want you to fix it.” Customer service gets this hilarious look and asks “Well do you want me to scrape off the icing and replace it with a different color? But that’s the orange we have so it’s not going to be any closer.” I started laughing.
It was the whitest nonsense I’ve seen in a long time.