Every Conversation I've Ever Had With A Woman Who Prefers Much Older Men


"So, I've noticed you seem to prefer to date guys who are quite a few years older than you."

"Define quite a few."

"Stop it. You know what I mean. Whichever age discrepancy officially makes the man an older man. For a 19 year old woman, an older man would be a 26 year old guy. But, for a 30 year old woman, the difference between 30 and 37 isn't that great, so an older man for her might be a 45 or 50 year old man."


"Got it."


"You're right. I've always preferred to date men who were considerably older than me. At 20 I had a 29 year old boyfriend. And now, at 29, I just prefer men in their early 40s to men my age."

"Why is that?"

"They've just always been more mature. More settled. More sure of themselves. I've always been somewhat mature for my age — I had my own place at 19 — and I've always vibed better with them. Even going back to high school and college, I've always dated up. From my vantage point, there's really no downside. I mean yeah, younger guys are more likely to be in better physical shape, I guess. But Crossfit works on 40-year-old bodies too. And sex with an in-shape 42-year-old >>>>>>>>>>>> sex with an in-shape 32-year-old."


"That's too much information."

"I'm just saying. You asked. Don't ask questions if you don't want answers."

"You're right. I did. And, I have another question for you."

"Ask away."

"What about guys your age? Or, better yet, how do you feel about guys your age who prefer to date considerably younger women? For instance, what would you assume about a 30-year-old man who dates nothing but 20 and 21-year-olds."


"I have a 21-year-old sister. And, she's awesome, but she's a 21-year-old. Her Twitter handle is drakesboo for chrissakes. I love her, but yeah. A 30-year-old man interested in her would get a serious side-eye from me."


"I'd assume he was emotionally — and, to be honest, sexually — immature. And wanted a much younger woman so he could mold or control her."




"Couldn't you say the same thing about older men interested in dating a much younger you? That, as mature as you considered yourself to be, they were attracted to you in part because they were emotionally and sexually immature and wanted a much younger woman to control? Wouldn't a 45-year-old you say that about the 45-year-old men you're dating now?"


"It's not the same thing."

"Why not?"

"Because…I'm different."

"Ok, 2 Chainz."

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About the author

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB, a columnist for GQ.com, and the author of What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker (Ecco/HarperCollins)