Seminole County Sheriff`s Office via Getty Images

George Zimmerman is never going to fucking die. This is all you need to know when seeing a news alert about him (almost) getting shot in the face. That it would not matter if he actually was shot in the face. Or repeatedly and surgically punched in the face by Zach Randolph. Or strangled in his sleep. Or dropped from the top floor of a four story Target. Or attacked by a herd of rabid groundhogs. Or burned and eaten by a fucking dragon.

The sooner we all accept that, that regardless of what happens to him, this motherfucker is never, ever, ever, ever, ever going to fucking die, the better for us all.