NBC News screenshot

And somehow manage not to…

1. Be overcome by your "allergies" or a sudden feeling that someone near you must be cutting onions or something.


2. Think about the first thing you’d do if you were recently given hands for the first time. And then spend the the entire morning debating whether that was the right choice.

3. Feel shitty about yesterday. When you ordered Singapore Mei Fun from Thai Cuisine to go. Took it home, tasted it, and learned that it was a 1 on the spicy scale instead of the 2 you requested. And allowed this to ruin your entire bitch-ass evening.

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB, a columnist for GQ.com, and the author of What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker (Ecco/HarperCollins)

Share This Story

Get our newsletter