Lebron James (Andy Lyons/Getty Images)

The top three likely destinations for Lebron James, new free agent, basketball icon, and maven internet troll.

1. Miami

I honestly don't think he's leaving. Just wants to put some fire in D. Wade's belly. And by "put some fire in D.Wade's belly" I mean "convince D.Wade to start working out again and stop making 3am runs to Wing Stop and the 24-hour Chipotle."

2. Cleveland

Still, fuck Dan Gilbert today. Fuck Dan Gilbert tomorrow. And fuck Dan Gilbert forever.

3. Dallas Cowboys

Because why not?