A song called “Top Off,” featuring Jay-Z, Beyoncé, Future and DJ Khaled, dropped at 6 a.m. Along with encouraging Maybach owners to take the tops off of their cars, I think the only reason this song even exists is that Future probably felt really, really, really sad about that Jay-Z line from “Kill Jay-Z” (“In the future other niggas playin’ football with your son”). And then Khaled reached out to Jay like, “Yo ... you gotta do something nice for Future, man. He’s really down about that line. Maybe take him to Chuck E. Cheese’s or something.” And Jay was like “Aight. Bet.” And Beyoncé was in the other room like “TEXAS.” And then they came up with this idea to do the song together, and Future is happy again.
But that’s not why we’re here! We’re here because a few weeks ago, Tiffany Haddish gave an interview where she revealed that Beyoncé had to, um, interrupt an actress getting a bit too handsy and cozy with Jay-Z’s chest area.
Toward the end of the interview, the hypergregarious Haddish catches and stops herself from expounding as if she just remembered who she’s talking about and doesn’t want to offend the exceedingly private Beyoncé. Unfortunately (for Tiffany) that stoppage apparently didn’t work.
Beyoncé’s main contribution to “Top Off” is 60 seconds of her doing the “I’m Beyoncé and I’m just gonna slur-scat-rap about bitches and Balenciaga and crawfish right now because I’m Beyoncé” thing again. At the end of her verse, she says, “If they party with the queen, they gonna have to sign a nondisclosure.” And then, if you listen closely a couple of seconds after that line, in the background she seems to say “Tiffany.”
Maybe we’re reading a bit too far into things. Perhaps they’re actually friends and this was just a bit of a inside joke/tease and not a full-fledged shot. And maybe Beyoncé actually says “tiddlywinks” and not “Tiffany,” but we just couldn’t really understand her because, well, you know. Either way, it sounds like a shot, and it smells like a shot, so Imma call it a shot. In hindsight, they probably just should’ve taken Future to Chuck E. Cheese’s.