Big Machine

Certain collaborations seem so counterintuitive — at least initially — that they almost can't help but be successful off the sheer ingenuity and ridiculousness of someone attempting to put those two things together. Fried chicken and waffles, for instance. (Also, Big Sean and public speaking.) The risk in doing this, of course, is in looking wasteful and foolish. For every light beer (a counterintuitive collaboration that worked) there are a dozen hybrid Escalades (a counterintuitive collaboration that failed spectacularly and likely led to several beheadings). Still, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take, if you're not first you're last, and I'm riding through the six with my woes.

With this in mind, I get why whoever thought it would be a good idea to put Kendrick Lamar and Taylor Swift on the same song and Lena Dunham in the video of that song thought it would be a good idea. I get it, I get it, I get it. And I'm not so cynical that I couldn't be swayed that this collab is all about the music.

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But I have not been swayed yet. And since I have not been swayed, I'll continue to believe that putting a guy whose best song off his most recent album (an album which also happened to be the Blackest major label release since the Book of Job) contained the lyrics "Came from the bottom of mankind/My hair is nappy, my dick is big, my nose is round and wide" on the same track with Taylor Sansa Stark Swift and in the same video with Lena Dunham, the Trader Joe's turkey bacon of problematic White People, is the most elaborate troll job of 2015.