Love & Hip Hop Hollywood Season 2: Episode 7 Recap

VH1 screenshot
VH1 screenshot

Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaan listen.

I don't even have a good lead in for this episode except that all I kept seeing in my mind when Miles told Amber that he was bisexual was this:

That was effectively Amber's reaction. But let's back up for a bit. When we last left our unsuper villain, Miles, he was at the therapists office spilling his guts about his new boo Milan and this past life where he had done deceivededed Amber and been leading her on. So the White Savior (the therapist, I can't remember her name) asks him if he's ready - he is but he ain't - and then Amber and her weave, which really constitutes an entirely additional cast-member, saunter in and sit down under the guise of talking about their romantical issues, which have gone the way of Teairra Marie's career.



Anyway, in a very serious and nervous moment, Miles sits her down and tells her that he's had feelings for men for quite some time. Amber loses her shit. Like completely. Like run out the house and lay down on the sidewalk lose her shit. And to be fair, I imagine hearing some news that you did not want to believe to be true, be true might crush you.


But before she does that, she confronts Miles and he goes all Thomas Shepherd from Above The Rim on that ass. Which is a pun. I totally did not intend it. One thing we've learned about Miles is that he's a runner.

Another pun.

Miles never saw a situation he wanted to deal with so he walks his bum ass right into the bathroom. Oh, the Thomas Shepherd reference? He's Leon's character in the movie who was never quite the same after his man Nutso jumped off a roof - to his obvious demise - trying to touch a higher spot on the ROOFTOP BASKETBALL's backboard. I know it's NYC and rooftop basketball courts are more common than they aren't, but the last thing I'm finna do is try to sky TOWARDS the ledge. Point is, Shepherd is a runner from all of his problems. And likes to play basketball with no ball. Never mind, this ain't about Above The Rim.

Back to LHH and Amber's disbelief. She's out there in the street being held down/consoled by show producers and key grips. She cannot believe it though apparently she's been hearing that he's gay for her entire life and always defended him because folks in love see what they want to see. Message! Amber doesn't want to see him, though she has questions, which mostly works for Miles since he's too busy hiding his head in the sand anyway. White Savior Lady talks to Amber and calms her down a bit, though Amber is in full fuck the world mode. She gon' talk, y'all!! Amber - who is off the sidewalk and in the SUV  - is able to leave and say that she loves Miles (if I remember correctly). Miles is back inside on the couch and regrets telling her.

Truth be told, and white lady hit the nail on the head, Amber can't believe he did it like this, but there was never going to be a right time to have that convo. This is part of what upsets Amber but even she has to concede that point. Miles is in there upset and in his feelings and realizes that he's gon' have to tell his family. And he tells his two sisters first who espouse every single anti-gay cliche possible.


No morals. Do you not believe in God? "Make better choices, Miles!"

Poor Miles. I'm sure he feels much better about his decision to live freely by now, but gotdamn, its hard out here to be free when your own family is trying to make you feel like you failed at life. You know, the sucky part about telling people something that is personal and private to you that affects their lives is that you KNOW the minute they're not in front of you they're telling EVERYBODY. I wouldn't be surprised if Amber hit her biggest GroupMe chat group and said, "MILES IS GAY HE JUST TOL ME I LUV HIS WUT AM I WHO IS FABOLUS AND THAT BADDEST BITCH POSED TO DO NOW THATS NOT HOW ITSPOST TO BE I LIKE OMARION HE MAKES GOOD SONGS BUT MILES DUZNT CUZ HE LIED TO ME HEHEHE MARK MORRISON HEHEHEHE IM SO SAD HE GAY GIRLS TELL EVERYBODY"


I'm also sure everybody else in that chat got together in a separate one and coordinated a two word reply that simply said: "we know"

Amber went and talked to her grandmother who knew Miles was gay too. Apparently Amber was the only person in LA who didn't Miles was gay. No wonder she feels lied to, she's been lying to herself. Message.


Speaking of liars. Ray and Teairra meet up at their spot on some ledge at some canyon in some town. Ray ain't shit. But when he's right, he's right. He rightly calls Teairra out on her bullshit play to sabotage what he and Princess had on pretending to be Princess's friend in order fuck her over. Teairra does that mumble over your lies shit niggas do when they're lying and are trying to talk their ways into a plausible lie. Yeah, it ain't work. Ray saw through it as did anybody. Teairra IS a terrible person. She WAS a horrible person to Princess. And she knows it, even if she's trying to pretend like its all part of the game.

Teairra needs Jesus.

Kind of like Nia and Soulja Boy. Soulja is an idiot. Nia is an idiot for trying to be with that idiot and accepting all of his fuckery…which she has. My man told us that he's worth $25 million though as a means of saying he doesn't need her shit, which in an odd way, is kind of true. Except, you put there there dumbass. She's there because of you. Y'all both need to spend some time apart. He's gonnna keep fucking chicks left and right and has realized, smartly, that friends are off limits. Why it took that long is beyond me, but hey, a lesson learned is a lesson learned according to Jesus.


(That might not be according to Jesus.)

Fizz drops some knowledge on Max Lux about wearing his ring that he listens to and buys new rings for he and his pint-sized insanity meter. I kind of hate them. Let's move on.


In the ODDEST part of the episode, Nikki, who seems to insert herself into EVERYBODY else's business for no good damn reason, goes to some type of store event held by Nas to confront her about…hmm…I actually forgot about what to be honest. It almost doesn't matter because these two yamps pick up drinks and before a drink can get thrown…

…Nas is throwing up all over the place. Multiple times. They couldn't even throw drinks (I'm pretty sure because of this, they missed their quota, though the Amber-sidewalk-breakdown probably counts towards their numbers) because of her upset stomach, which I have to admit, I did not see coming. At all.


Which was disgusting. Which warranted quite a few "what's happening right now?" texts.

Love and Hip Hop Hollywood is happening right now.

(Also, I didn't stay up for the "Out in Hip Hop" special because it was past my bedtime and also because this is nothing new in hip-hop.)

Panama Jackson is the Senior Editor of Very Smart Brothas. He's pretty fly for a light guy. You can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking all her brown liquors.

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The fact that she threw up in to her hand and still had throw up balled up in her fist when she tried to go after Nikki is what really did it for me. Like, what?? Put the fight on pause and go to the bathroom Hun. Nikki had it right when she "that wasn't cute". That was the craziest fight I've seen in my life. I was on the floor though.