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So I didn't write a recap for the season finale last week. I actually hoped nobody would notice. I was getting my Empire on. And frankly, I think that anybody who has been watching this long was mostly exasperated by that last episode anyway. Nikki was being messy. Moniece went Hulk Smash. Fizz is selling lotion (!). Whatevs. What I will say is this: I hate Nikki. Like I have a visceral disdain for her. If there was a dislike button on IG, I'd go in and dislike every single IG photo she has up. Every. Single. One. Moniece did get caught in her confusion but Nikki wasn't trying to help anybody out, she was being a messy Botched Barbie. Rich really looked messed up behind finding out that MoMo (aww, so cute) still has feelings/confusions about Fizz, though. I almost felt about Mr. Creep Squad.

Which leads us right into the reunion. Part I was largely serene, which we all know is a no-go for these types of festivities. We also know that Part 2 is going to involve more fisticuffs than a Mayweather-Pacquiao fight. So I'm going to point out a few things of note from the first part.

1. Moniece, thought I love her, is actually bonkers. She has her own safe word. Now look, I'm not knocking anybody's mental health journey. Words like self-care are all the rage for reasons. But she had to stand up and walk away while repeating "beano" (I think) in order to calm herself down from popping off on people. That was…something. They had her walking off the stage because folks were calling her homeless like she wasn't taking her care of her business and responsibilities, which is something that Fizz has said over and over that she is definitely doing now. More on this Fizz+Mo thing later.

2. I hate Nikki.

3. I am amazed that I'm about to do this, but I'm coming to the defense of Moniece. So they got to talking about Moniece and her relationship with her son, Kameron, which we all know is a trigger for her because let's be real, from JUMP, she's been painted as a terrible mother. Our very introduction to Moniece on Season 1 was via Fizz and talking about her lost custody and their fights and the fact that Fizz didn't even want her to know where her lived. Even during this season, there was the part about Mo dropping the ball three weeks in a row, which led to one of the more epic scenes of Fizz and Mo crying together because he realized how fucked up her support system really is/was and him explaining to her how he's the one who has always been there. Anyway, for some odd fucking reason, Amber and Brandi - who are both mothers - and Willie's wife -who is a mother who really likes stripping - decide to chime in on what a mother should be doing.


Nobody asked them. Because nobody cares. But they felt a need to toss in their two cents when a discussion about Moniece and parenting came up. There is obviously no love between Mo and most of them folks, but still, there was no need on them to comment considering they probably don't have any clue what she is or isn't doing aside from what they've seen on TV. Fizz says she's holding up her end and that's all he's ever asked for, so why can't folks just let that girl be.

Of course, as she right asks "why are you, you, or you even talking to me right now?" all those who had no reason to be talking to her got in their feelings. Which is something I HATE about people. Folks interject themselves into a situation or convo, the interjectee doesn't give a fuck and lets the interjector know, and a hockey game breaks out. And I hate Brandi as much as I hate Nikki - surprise, surprise; they're besties and shit - but that little pint sized ball of fire needs her ass whipped pronto.

Moniece is out here trying her best. Through this season, one thing we've seen is where many of her issues come from: her mama. Even Fizz, who has been harder on her than anybody has eased up off the pedal. Other people need to let her live.


4. One of THE most non-sensical things we witnessed on last night's reunion was this tidbit which HAS to be a lie: Rich Dollaz claims he pays $3,000 a WEEK in child support. Not month…WEEK. For those mathematically disinclined, that's $12,000 a month and $15,000 in months with five weeks.

I don't know Rich's life because apparently he's getting all the paper behind the scenes. But he has to be lying. Fuckin' Russell Simmons pays something like $40,000 a month for his kids and he's ACTUALLY rich. Puffy, another ACTUALLY rich person and somebody Rich Dollaz used to work for is paying something like $40,000 a month for a few of his kids. How is it that Rich pays upwards of $156,000 a year in child support?!??!?!?! I sat up and stared at my television very aggressively at that claim. I  never really ask for receipts on stuff like this but I need to see the receipts.

Not for the reason you think either. If he's really paying that much then he is either PIZZZZZAID and we're all clowning him for no reason or he got TAKEN TO THE CLEANERS and I want to help him get a new lawyer.


5. Ray and Princess are engaged. Here's a good place to say this: I went from not caring about Princess to feeling sorry for her to liking her to disliking her strongly. She has become one of those people who get their confidence game up and over-correct on all the years they never stood up for themselves. Hell, she's the one telling Moniece that she doesn't have a place to live like fuckin' Ray didn't just buy her a house. I mean, come on. I know you two don't like each other, but Princess has started sniping too much. She thinks she's Teairra Mari whose lipo doesn't seem to have taken.

6. Let's talk about Fizz + Mo. I do not think they belong together. Fizz seems perfectly content to be great co-parents with her and for them to raise their son together in unison and amicably. But I've come to the conclusion that Fizz gives all the fucks about Moniece. Every single time something pops off with Mo and he's there, he immediately goes to her, even if its to scold or remove her from the situation. He almost never tries to stop the other party, he's always trying to get her out of there. I can't tell if he's afraid of what she's capable of (possible) or if he doesn't realize that he loves the shit out of her. Even in that scene at his lotion (!) unveiling and she and Nikki got into it. He immediately tried to keep her out of the fray and calm her down…terribly. But he was focused on her, not his girl Nikki. Look at how much he gave a fuck when Mo's momma basically bailed on her and how he hugged her while they shared that cry about how folks keep coming down on her. Even on the stage when things go left towards the end of the reunion, he's trying to tend to her. Look, maybe I'm reading more into it than is there. That's fine. I'm just saying, he might not want to go back down that road with her - which is fair - but that boy cares about some Moniece.

7. Ray cutely tried to stand up for Princess when Rich Dollaz said there wasn't gon' be no bitch shit in terms of coming at Moniece. Ray doesn't look like he can fight at all.


You know what, that's all I have. Part II next week where it looks like lots of hands get thrown.