Apparently we’ve reached the maximum threshold for a character on a Mona Scott show to be presented as reasonable within a season arc, because Yandy Smith was mainlining haterade. Yandy was suspicious of a woman named Remy that Myanmar had hired to be an assistant of his management company – to which I ask, who wants the former Dipset Dopeboy to handle their career??? – but instead of taking it up with the man that she plans on spending the rest of her life with, in true bird fashion, she takes her rage out on the woman who had the nerve to slide in her man’s DMs.
Initially, I was with Yandy – call me prejudicial, but I highly doubt that Mendeecees has seen nan resume or cover letter from Remy. For one, DMs cannot accept that many characters. Also, the only Remy that I acknowledge is Ma, and that is never changing. However, Yandy totally lost me when she decided to take that woman out to tell her about herself. Remy inexplicably obliged her, even arriving in a more toned down look after Yandy criticized her getup in the studio – to which Yandy decided to flip into “why are you trying to dress like me? Are you trying to be me?” Yandy then told her to “ ‘spoke’ (which…girl…) when spoken to” – at which point I was preparing to see Remy steal off on her in the restaurant. After listing off the way in which Remy got on Yandy’s bad side (two examples being outfit related) – she told her the she could get her fired, which is completely unbelievable considering she didn’t even know Remy was hired in the first place. Remy aptly points out that Yandy doesn’t sign the check for Manicotti’s Drug Money Laundering In the Form Of A Management Company LLC, and told her that she would take it up with Massapequa – leaving Yandy stuttering something about how her man would say the same thing she just said. (That was a lie. No red-blooded man who has delusions of being the 21st century Big Meech is planning on chastising their assistant for their wardrobe.) My only question – how much crow did Yandy have to eat when she had to send Chrissy Lampkin an apology letter for her behavior with Jim Jones? Karma can be so swift.
Apparently, the communal acknowledgment of being done dirty by the same man is the foundation for a new tenuous alliance – because now Amina and Tara are meeting up to share war wounds. Amina had just finished listening to “When A Woman’s Fed Up” and decided to take it upon herself to let Tara know all the reasons why she was under the impression that she wasn’t breaking up a happy home when her and Peter got together – reasons being the new chicks that Peter paraded around Amina every time they met up. While Amina may thinks that this vindicates her, it truly just makes her seem even more simple – why did you choose to commit yourself to a man who was running in the streets heavy when you met him? One step forward, three steps back. Nevertheless, Tara did not take the news that Peter’s “side wife told her he had a bunch of side bitches” well – and ripped into Peter over it. Honestly, while I understand why Tara would be bitter – Lord knows I would be if I found out that my ex of several years cheated on me with a binder full of women – I don’t get why that conversation needed to happen. Tara insists on letting Peter know time and again how much she hurt him, which is frankly only showing Peter how much she still cares. I wouldn’t be surprised if they end up spooning again by season’s end.
All of these exhibits of common sense being endangered pale in comparison to the triangle that is Jhonni Blaze, Precious Paris, and Rich Dollaz. First things first: Precious was wrong to bust into someone else’s studio time. That said, why is Jhonni Rich’s self-designated attack dog? Wasn’t she just resentful that he sowed his wild oats while she was in the slammer? Rich explained to Jhonni why violence is not the answer, and Jhonni tearfully declared that she understood…but not before turning it into a discussion of how she has a particular, um, affinity, for Precious’ yams. Is bi-curiousity a minimum requirement to be casted on these shows now? Anyway, they go and meet up at what is definitely a sample store in the Garment district, and Jhonni does take it upon herself to give a sincere apology with Rich’s prompting. Precious accepts the apology…while shooting her with a quick two-piece to the face. Have I been doing apologies all wrong? Does an eye for an eye still apply even after you let bygones be bygones? Do I still owe Vanessa at P.S. 153 a quick left hook? Someone please answer me! Upon being pulled away Precious yells “apology accepted” while Jhonni….offers sexual favors…and lets security know that she had opted to go commando today. Word to the wise – stay ready so you don’t have to ever get ready. If you know hands can get thrown at any moment, drawers on at all times, please.
In another installment of “why are we continuing to get in our feelings about old shit”, Cisco is trying and failing to have a redemption arc where he rationalizes all of his sociopathy by showing all of the loss he’s had in his life, namely his brother passing away over a decade ago. Cisco’s mom wisely advises him to leave the ladies alone, but our Latino Cue Ball has already disavowed himself of any rational decision making, opting to meet up with Diamond, who’s new flame has presumably flown the coop after realizing she sees her daughter about as often as she gets her period. Diamond apparently needs validation that Cisco was with his baby’s mother the whole time they were together…even though she has proof of this from breaking into his cell phone and copying all of his texts. For one, I didn’t even know you could do that! For b) – how could she send his texts across without him knowing? For iii) where does this fit into their storyline? Diamond was allegedly blindsided by the fact that he was still romantically entangled with his ex and broke up with him immediately, so when did she get to go through his texts? Mona’s being lazy with the editing here.
In the LMNOP plots – Crissy is apparently a heartless trick because she is unable to be sympathetic to Chink’s plight with his father since she never met him, and is also willing to write Chink’s entire family off because they apparently can seems to get jiggy with the idea of Chink parading around a new chick while he is still married to his wife of almost two decades. Erica is dressed as a mermaid for a video shoot and is still convinced that people care that she is with Bow Wow. Cyn and Precious Paris still haven’t hooked up yet – anyone want to start an over/under betting pool on when this happens?
Until next time.