Screenshot: CBS (YouTube)

Sentient vat of recycled Great Value Wite-Out Megyn Kelly appears to be losing her job very soon. Perhaps it will happen while I am typing this sentence. (Did it?) The straw that broke this racist camel’s back, of course, was her awkward and illogical and just dumb-as-the-fuck defense of blackface Halloween costumes and then her subsequent half-assed mea culpa.

Of course, since rich white people levitate when they fall, if canned, she will likely receive a severance large enough to cop 25 million Sambo figurines, she will write a best-selling (and very bad) book, and she will be given a large sum of money by another platform to sprinkle her brand of soccer-mom supremacy on the gaggles willing to consume it. She will be fine.

But still, getting her out of the paint is a good thing. In a news cycle largely devoid of things that make you smile, the thought of Darth Becky boxing up her desk and solemnly removing pictures of Scarlett O’Hara off her wall and wrapping them in racist cellophane is a gotdamn glee delivery device. Allow yourself to be happy!

In your jubilance, just make sure not to congratulate NBC. Or CAA. Or anyone else who is congratulating themselves today for cutting ties with her. Firing her for saying a dumb and racially insensitive thing is like firing the bird you just hired because it decided to fly. She was hired (and Tamron Hall fired) and given tens of millions of dollars specifically because of the profile she built at Fox News, where she attempted to brand herself as the least racist racist in a moat of bigots. The Coke Zero in the racist cooler. MAGA Regina George will soon lose her job, not because she’s racist, but because she’s just really, really, really, really bad at it.

From Business Insider:

In its first year, Kelly’s show averaged 2.4 million viewers a day, a drop of 400,000 viewers from that hour’s average before she began hosting, according to Nielsen (via The New York Times).

For comparison, ABC’s “Live with Kelly and Ryan,” which also airs at 9 a.m., led “Megyn Kelly Today” in ratings by an average of 747,000 viewers a day, according to The Wall Street Journal, and saw a spike when Kelly began hosting at NBC in that time slot. And “The Kelly File” averaged 2.7 million viewers a day in her last year at Fox News.

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Basically, Megyn Kelly may no longer be on morning TV because she’s a Heaven’s Gate/Waterworld-level disaster; an extinction-level-event who also happens to be a little racist. (Also, if she decides to do a podcast after this, “Also Happens To Be A Little Racist” would be a great title for it. I’d even let her have it for free.)

Anyway, stop reading this and go drink your glass of Megyn Kelly Got Fired Today iced tea. If you wait too long the ice cubes might melt.