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Although pictures can say thousands—and sometimes millions—of words, when I saw the image yesterday of the president of the United States of America tossing paper towels at storm-ravaged citizens of Puerto Rico days after lobbing insults at San Juan’s mayor and calling them (in separate tweets) lazy and entitled and unworthy of aid because they’re in debt, only three immediately came to mind: Fuck this nigga.

After staring at it again, I thought of five more: Y’all’s president is a thot.

And then, after cleaning my glasses this morning, I came up with eight more: His bitch ass couldn’t even spring for Bounty?


Later, I drank some orange juice, got ambitious—felt a little froggy—and added 16: Why the fuck is he tossing weak-ass 0.75-ply Coke Zero-ass paper at them?

After lunch, those 16 expanded to 59: Seriously, what the fuck does he expect them to do with this analog paper? Stuff it into bras? Make pillows for mosquitoes? These people just survived a hurricane, and this fool-ass nigga’s way to help them is to ... help them make spitballs?


Eventually, after I looked at the picture again before attaching it to this piece, the words were distilled back down to two: Fuck him.

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB, a columnist for, and the author of What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker (Ecco/HarperCollins)

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