On A Scale From One To Joe Budden, How Bothered Is Donald Trump That He Lost The Election?

Spencer Platt/Getty Images
Spencer Platt/Getty Images

I know, I know, I know. Darth Cheeto is currently the President of the United States. Which we're reminded of each time we turn on the news or log onto the internet and see that he seems to be intent on using his presidential authority to prove that the rapey vat of curdled cheese whiz he calls a soul is truly bottomless. But he is President because we named him President. He did not actually win. At least not by any working and relevant understanding of what winning means. Despite Hillary Clinton running the most uninspired and uninspiring political campaign since Stannis Baratheon — and despite Russia, and despite Comey, and despite the Bernie Bros — she still won the popular vote by millions. Trump's victory was essentially a spades game he only won because his opponent reneged. And he was talking across the table. And he put a crease in the big joker. And he took advantage of niggas' drunkenness to add 50 points to his score when no one was looking.

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The paradox of Trump — the "winner" who still has yet to actually win anything by himself — came to mind today as it was revealed that sentient Chernobyl-area test tube Donald Trump Jr definitely knew Russia planned to interfere with the election. And I couldn't help to wonder how much it burns him — or if it burns him at all — that he needed all of this extra shit to happen to be named the winner, and still lost by two Philadelphias.

Of course, when asked about losing the popular vote, he dips that question in his whizzy vat of spin and pretends not to care. But as filled to the brim with the Whitest Hubris Ever as we know he is, we know that must sting like a motherfucker. So how much do you think it does? Does it bother him the way a pesky mosquito on a stoop bothers people? Or is he perpetually bothered? Did the election make him go full Joe Budden?

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Personally, I think it's somewhere in-between. Maybe he didn't go Full Budden. But I'd guess he's stereotypical-Black-uncle-when-he's-asked-to-get-up-from-his-barcalonger-and-stop-watching-Suits-to-go-empty-the-trash level bothered. And that's pretty damn bothered.

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB, a contributing opinion writer for The New York Times, and the author of What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker (Ecco/HarperCollins)

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DISCUSSION

Happy Wednesday yall…
So Monday I had a HORRIBLE toothache…come to find out I needed a double root canal in the same fucking tooth. I had SIX shots of Novocain (sp?) to keep me from screaming in pain and hitting my dentist in the family maker.
I hate life. But I like Percocets lmao took all the pain away.

Hope yall are have a wonderful day and if anyone has a link to the latest trhread in the group please let me know…I can't access Val's tumblr :(