In a few months, I'm going to be the best man in one of my best friend's weddings. This means that I'm taking on the responsibility for the bachelor party and making sure that stuff gets done on the groomsmen end in terms of tuxedo fittings, hotel arrangements, etc. This is a new experience for me. Not because I've never been a best man before. Au contraire, I was the best man in my brother's wedding back in 2007 (I believe). Except this was no ordinary Best Man-ship. Naw, b. My ENTIRE reason for existing was to make sure he LITERALLY made it down the aisle. And even then, as we were walking down the aisle, my brother's mom asked me to stop the proceedings.

You know how they ask at some weddings if there is anybody who doesn't think the union should proceed…yeah, they skipped that part. Real nigga talking.


There was no official bachelor party. My man's life was a bachelor party. The wedding reception? Popeye's chicken and the after party was at the trap house. Like an actual one. There are no shots fired here. The whole wedding was a shots fired. But let's move on.

Back to the current wedding situation that's about to occur. In a few months that is. I'm now 35 years old. I'll be 36 in a few months. I've been to a shit-ton of weddings at this point of my life. I've been a groomsman or usher in at least 5 or 6 weddings. This means that I've had to wear tuxedos at least 5 or 6 times. Which means I've had to get fitted for a tuxedo at least 5 or 6 times.  This used to not be an issue. I'd get fitted up to 6 months in advance and call it a day.

But as the best man, I've been tasked with attempting to get everybody else to the fitting counter. Except everybody wants to wait. Why? Because we're old(er) and our weight fluctuates. I don't remember this being an issue or concern back in the 2000s when we were all in various weddings in different capacities. But now, everybody is concerned about getting fitted now when we'll all just have to get refitted in a few months anyway.



Even the type of entertainment we've been thinking of for the bachelor festivities has taken a turn. My crew of homies has been known to do it up. We took a trip to Vegas once, rented a house, and I'm not sure anybody drank a drip of water for 5 days. On the flight back to DC from Vegas, I was literally shaking the whole time. I thought we lost one of our friends in the Vegas airport because we left a casino where we'd been drinking and went straight to the airport and she was so drunk she actually doesn't remember leaving the casino or boarding a plane. We were not in good shape. Nobody. Now we're talking about wine festivals and brunch.

Times they are a changin'. Hell, when our own Damon got married and we had bachelor festivities in DC, we didn't make it past 830pm. Granted, the amount of liquor consumed in the hours of 2-830pm may be illegal, but I'm saying. I remember at one wedding back in 2006, getting SO fucked up that me and my boy were breaking up fights on a Richmond, Virginia, street got kidnapped (read got into a car with a woman we didn't know because she was Black…literally) returned back to the hotel room at like 430am and were up at 8 am to walk to McDonald's. The lesson there? Don't go to Richmond.


Point is, there was a point in time where throwing caution to the wind was the order of the day and nobody (at least not any guys) were concerned about fitting into their wedding garments. Your size in October was going to be your size next May unless you were hitting the gym or doing some diet that a healthy white guy spoke about on the moving picture box.

Not that there's anything wrong with this, it's just one of those observational changes that happens as you get older. Something you don't notice until it happens and its like, damn, folks aren't even trying to hang out too late anymore.

Except late anymore is anything after 8pm at a non-controlled environment. And I get it, especially if you have kids. It's just…interesting. Be that as it may, this wedding will happened and we'll be fitted for our tuxes come hell or high water. And they'll fit.


Because everybody will do what it takes to make them fit.

And that's what it's all about.