R. Kelly ( Jason Merritt/Getty Images)

Robert Kelly's record company recently released a remix to his Bump N Grind video about a nerd who transforms into a dancing machine after spraying — wait for it — Bump N Grind Cologne on himself.

Of, course the cologne intrigued me more than the video, so I had to ponder a bit on what I think Bump N Grind smells like:

1. The male version of "Love Spell."

2. A fresh white linen shorts set, with Nike flip flops and Hanes ankle socks.

3. Teen spirit. (I had to)

4. A bag of Corn Nuts dipped in Drakkar Noir.

5. A bluetooth headpiece dipped in a bag of Corn Nuts dipped in Drakkar Noir

Apparently… my nose is telling me no.

Roll Call is a daily collection of interesting news stories, articles, blogs, and thinkpieces, curated by Tonja Stidhum and Natalie Degraffinried. They both have big hair, but they are not the same person.