My earnest devotion to the Love & Hip Hop franchise is quite well documented. When it comes to the general thoughts that consume me any day of the week, it goes…
1. Ranking various chicken establishments by seasoning and breading
2. Praying that Serge Ibaka will finally respond to my DMs
3. Rabidly consuming the latest entertainment that Mona Scott Young has to offer.
She’s basically my drug dealer. Whenever she gives me fairly middling seasons of programming (see: half of the latest round of Love and Hip Hop: Inland Empire), I’m still taking the hits just to feel a little something until she gets the good shipment in.
Well, ladies and gents, the mid is officially selling. Love & Hip Hop: South Bronx/Harlem has premiered, and it has warmed the spirit of the teeny tiny hoodrat that still sits inside my deadened gentrified soul.
Judging off the first two episodes, this round has everything a bird could desire in top tier “unscripted” television. We have one hit wonders. We have old popular dances. We have doorknocker earrings, strippers from Gun Hill Rd, and women that still match their kicks with their name belts. I’m pretty sure I heard a “word to muva” proclamation that made my heart skip a beat.
We also have the triumphant return of Reminisce “Remy Ma” Smith.
For those of y’all who are new to the wonder of Remy Ma, well, you must be under the age of 18. In which case, log off and do your homework. Regardless, she came up under Terror Squad — aka “Big Pun and his ragtag friends who let the world know that New Yorkers let lightskint latinos get away with saying nigga” — and had a few solo hits before spending over six years in jail for what she claims “the legal system defines as intentional assault.” By defined, she means “I shot my friend in the stomach who stole 3,000 US Dollars and then tried to intimidate the jury into not convicting me” but hey, just semantics. Long story short, Remy Ma wasn’t lying in that “Ante Up” verse.
When I first heard the cast announcement for this season, I was more than excited to see the return of Remy Ma to my screen, even if it wasn’t in the form of new music. And if Papoose had to come with the package, I was willing to let him live his Nacirema Dream.
Color me surprised when I found my heart warming at Remy and Papoose’s relationship.
First off, Papoose is truly ride or die for his woman. He championed her through a six year bid (including getting in a fistfight with Fat Joe pre-weight loss surgery), married her during that time, and was ready to give her the world on his return. He took her to what looks like the Medieval Times Castle as a potential site for their wedding! I can only hope that my future husband can love me the way Pap loves Remy and Avirex jackets.
Secondly, everything about their relationship is peak Blackness. I mean, just take a gander at this photo. Remy is in pin-curls, playing chess with her husband who is in top to bottom camouflage. There’s a ninety percent chance that our lady Reminisce smells like Lovespell. What do you think they’re playing for? The big piece of chicken? Flaming hot cheetos? Honeybuns? The possibilities are ENDLESS.
Now, we’ve only seen two episodes, so my excitement may be a bit premature. But considering the rest of the cast features a man who moved his baby momma and side chick down the hall from his wife, I’m ready for the stability of this hood love. I can’t wait to see them toe wop their way down the altar.