If you ever happened to be in dire need of 300 or so Bougie Black People and had no idea how to find them, go to Kinkos and create a flyer for a panel, conference, or convention. When done at Kinkos, create an Eventbrite page. And make sure to have a registration fee. Then, create a Facebook event page and hashtag for it. And don't worry about the subject of the panel, conference, or convention. It doesn't matter. As long as the panel, conference, or convention exists and Bougie Black People are aware of it, they will attend.

Although Brunch remains the fulcrum for the Bougie Black Person's life, the panel, the conference, and the convention provide the perfect storm for Bougie Black People to exhibit their Bougie Blackness, for there's no other place for them to display as many markers of Bougie Blackivity.


Business cards being handled out? Check! Bougie Black People talking to other Bougie Black People about thinkpieces written by Bougie Black People for other Bougie Black People? Check! Some type of brunch event before, during, or after the panel? Check! A bevy of women with natural hair? Check! An opportunity to spend hundreds of dollars just to do things with Bougie Black People they don't know that they already do for free with Bougie Black People they do know? Check! A gaggle of ironic t-shirts? Check! Lanyards? Check! Badges explaining exactly who everyone is? Check! Someone from Black Girls Run holding a clipboard for some reason? Check! Whatever the hell a "tweet-up" is? Check! A chance to finally meet Demetria Lucas ? Check! John Legend somewhere, speaking about mentorship or libido or something while wearing a hat? Check!

Along with the multiple opportunities to peacock, the panel, conference, and convention also tap into the Bougie Black Person's desire to be thought of as a thought leader. Maybe they weren't invited to sit on the panel about "Love and Hip-Hop's Subversive Feminism." But, when the audience has an opportunity to speak, they'll make sure to repeat that witty juxtaposition of Erica Mena and Audre Lorde they tweeted two months ago. And who knows? That might even earn them a follow from Luvvie.