Although Black skin and student loans they'll never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever pay off ensure that Bougie Black People are, in fact, authentically Black, sometimes BBP get self-conscious about how Black they're seen by other people. While they don't doubt their own Blackness, they're aware that the perception of racial authenticity is arbitrary, and they're hyper-sensitive to anyone else doubting their Blackness, fearing that a brunch-related Facebook status message is all it would take for a cousin to leave an awkwardly punctuated "Looks like someone got a degree and got all brand new" comment on their profile.

Aware of this, Bougie Black People tend to do things to fortify their foundations of Blackness; ultimately attempting to thwart non-existent attacks from non-existent Blackness inspectors. Maybe they'll go natural. Maybe they'll claim Martin was their favorite comedy when Frasier actually was. And sometimes maybe they might even be President of the United States of America.


Recently, BBP have discovered a new and exciting and remarkably easy method of Blackness fortification. Just do the things they usually do, but add "Trap" to it!

Admittedly, the trapefication of Bougie Black culture is genius, as it serves two vital purposes:

1. It allows them to feel connected to the hood, as any angst and guilt about doing bikram yoga while niggas is dying in the streets is alleviated once it becomes "Trap Yoga."


2. Saying "Hey everyone! I'm going to Trap Karaoke tonight!" instead of "Hey everyone! I'm going to Karaoke tonight!" preempts any doubts those non-existent Blackness inspectors might have.

Bougie Black People must be careful, however, not to overdose on trapefication. They already have Trap Yoga, Trap Karaoke, Trap Brunch, Trap Painting, Trap Game Nights, and Trap Kitchens and might only be one summer away from Trap Marathons, Trap Bible Study, Trap Spelunking, Trap Algebra, Trap Colonoscopy, Trap Fellatio, and Trap Cesarean Sections, and that could get messy!

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB, a columnist for, and the author of What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker (Ecco/HarperCollins)

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