I, for one, cannot wait until 10 years from now when the best books about what’s happening in the White House today are released. Of course, whether those books are written and published and we buy and read them depends on whether the planet is still actually here, which is a bit of a toss-up right now. Earth still standing in 10 years has about the same odds as the Warriors winning the NBA Finals again. They should, but Dray might kick some nuts again, so who knows?


Until that time comes, however, I’ll have to settle for reading news reports and comments from anonymous sources about what’s happening there right now. And while I wouldn’t particularly call myself entertained, this shit is never not interesting.

Anyway, between the fact that Michael Flynn’s snitching ass will undoubtedly spark a round of snitch dominoes where everyone, including Melania Trump—shit, especially Melania—will be in play in an effort to cover their own asses and get the fuck out of the Cheeto in chief’s orbit, AND the reports that it’s dealing with rat and roach infestations, is there any doubt that the Trump White House is basically just a big-ass trap house at this point?


All of the trap house elements are there.

Cop-magnet family members always fucking up the count? Check!

Strange packages delivered at odd hours by Russians? Check!

Snitches named “White Mike”? Check!

Paul Ryan? Check!

The kingpin doing nothing all day but sitting in his bedroom in an alpaca robe while tweeting and eating KFC? Check!

The long-suffering and “foreign” wife of the kingpin secretly plotting to poison his Strawberry Fanta and run off to a farm somewhere? Check!

A white woman named “Sarah” who’s always around and disheveled for some reason, and no one quite knows why? Check!


No one paying any income taxes whatsoever? Check!

We’ve been searching, since Donald Trump was elected, for an instructive piece of media on how to deal with and defeat someone like this. But instead of All the President’s Men, maybe we should just watch New Jack City again.

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB, a columnist for, and the author of What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker (Ecco/HarperCollins)

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