A few days ago, the internet, especially the Black quarters were aflame with disbelief and WTFness at the news that, yes, Sanaa Lathan was indeed dating Karim Kharbouch, aka French Montana.
The jokes only flew from there with people questioning why such a refined, educated, well-to-do woman would date such an opposites attract specimen in Mr. Shot Caller. I don't know much about French Montana aside from his penchant for recycling dope hip-hop songs from yesteryear and turning them into new-age hits, but he does have a good ear for beats. This is probably why he's signed to Diddy. Puffy clearly knows a thing or two about recycling. Bad Boy loves the trees.
Point is, I don't know if French is a good guy or a bad one. I don't know if his rap persona is a charade (most likely) and behind closed doors he's a real sweetheart. I assume that given his current profession he's probably charming as hell and that's likely how he pulled Sanaa in the first place. Women love being charmed. Shoot, women even like charm bracelets and the show Charmed was a hit. Do you remeber the song "Semi-Charmed Life" by Third Eye Blind? Women loved that shit. I'm just saying: if you charm a chick, you can take her home. Or at least on a first date that's hopefully not a $200 date. Oh, and fellas, if you intend to go splitsies on this date as so many men seem to be doing nowadays, as Teedra Moses said on her landmark work, Complex Simplicty (a work that I'd bet money Sanaa is familiar with), specifically the song "You Better Tell her", well "…you better tell her…"
Women HATE the dutch surprise date ending. You know how men like happy endings at the massage parlor (or so I've heard)? Women feel the EXACT opposite on a first date when she finds out she has to pay for her half of the festivities. Stay woke. And don't sleep.
While I know nothing about French Montana, I have to realize that, you know what, I don't really know anything about Sanaa Lathan, either. I know what I think of her. I think - based on her movies mostly - that she's this seminal woman and thinker with so much to offer who is above…something. I think in my mind, I view her as some sort of woman of scholarly works who walks on rose petals as a rule and would only date somebody that I think highly of, or at least not somebody that would make me question how in the hell it happened.
And you know what, she could be. She could be exactly who I think she is. Or, she could be somebody altogether different. Either is fine and either is okay.
As soon as the news hit, social media started with the jokes about how if French could pull her, it lets you know that anybody could have. It was the same type of joke that Chris Rock made about Jermaine Dupri dating Janet Jackson, as if Jermaine Dupri was some poor man's, budget-boyfriend that somehow slid in Janet's DMs (or would have if Instagram and Twitter were a thing back then) while the rest of the available, and more suitable populace of men, collectively blinked. JD wasn't good enough for Janet…to us.
Same with Bobby Brown and Whitney. We think these women are great catches so the men they date should also live up to that standard that we believe them to be. Except we don't actually know ANY of these women. At all. Shit, we all blamed Bobby for Whitney's downfall when it was Whitney who really took Bobby down that staircase towards destruction. I remember when I found out that Lil Wayne and Lauren London were expecting. My opinion of her plummeted like that apple that hit Newton. Then I took a step back…I didn't then and still don't know a damn thing about Lauren London. She's not even a good actress. She's just pretty so I assumed she was above dating men with gold teeth in their mouth on purpose. Same with Christina Milian. But then every so often you read an interview where these women tell you about the kinds of men they want and you realize, either they want to live out some hood fantasy, or maybe, just maybe, they ain't above any of this shit.
Pretty doesn't make anybody worthy of shit more than anybody else. The truth is, I imposed my ideals on them and didn't let them live their lives. I don't know their likes, wants, desires, hopes or dreams. And I know nothing about what makes them tick or date the men they date.
This is very likely the case with Sanaa Lathan. She's hot. Is she a good actress? She's pretty good. Is her background one that makes it seem like she'd date a lawyer or a doctor, etc? Yeah. But it turns out she likes French's Montana and that's okay. Maybe he is the greatest guy ever. Maybe all that stuff women claim to want from men, he does for her. Hell, maybe she loves her some rappers and their swagger and she watched him walk into a room and was like, "that one; want him." Maybe, just maybe their connection is real and not based on whatever it is we think she is and he isn't.
Or maybe she's just a ratchet at heart. And dating former (alleged) drug dealers and dudes who beef with guys named Jim Jones and date Kardashians is right up her alley. Maybe all she wants is to walk into her house and have him throw a stack of $1s at her ass while she's cookin' in the kitchen. Maybe, she is his trap queen. Doesn't mean she's not a great woman and that we shouldn't want the best for her, but maybe that's exactly what she found in French.
And it ALSO doesn't mean that French isn't best for her either.
Plus, let's be real. Any woman who made THIS song is probably more likely to date French Montana than Neil deGrasse Tyson anyway. Because this woman, yes Sanaa Lathan, made a song called "Emotional" featuring Dej Loaf who isn't exactly MC Lyte, where the opening line is, "I don't really deal with emotional niggas…" and made a whole song complaining about the type of shit that women say they love when they really like somebody.
She could have dated a pilot. Could have dated a doctor. It could have been a pimp; it could have been a mobster. It could have been a mack or it could have been a dopeboy. But homey, matter of fact, she wanted to date a motherfucking coke boy.
She's jinglin' baby. Go 'head baby.
As long as she's happy, let's hope she keeps jinglin'.