Spiders The Size of Puppies? Fuck Nature, Yo.


"The South American Goliath birdeater (real name!) has a footlong legspan and two-inch fangs. Its body is about the size of a fist and it is the largest spider in the world—that we know of."

One more reason I just do not fuck with nature, b. I just don't. Why is a spider this damn big? Why Sway?


And somebody is outchea taking pictures of it? Y'all would just have to take my word for it because if I saw a spider that big. I'm out. Plain and simple. You wouldn't have to believe me either. I wouldn't care. Take my money, my house and my cars…is what I would say to that spider. From a distance like like the Bette Midler version.

Keep in mind, this dude HEARD the thing walking. HEARD IT. Do you know how heavy a spider has to be to HEAR IT???????? When is the last time you HEARD a spider, yo.


Y'all can have nature, son.

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About the author

Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is the Senior Editor of Very Smart Brothas. He's pretty fly for a light guy. You can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking all her brown liquors.