The Beard You Grow When You’re Fine With a Dollop of Racism but Not 'Everyone, Even My Barber, Knows You're Racist Now' Racism

Illustration for article titled The Beard You Grow When You’re Fine With a Dollop of Racism but Not 'Everyone, Even My Barber, Knows You're Racist Now' Racism
Screenshot: ABC

20 Questions after watching The Bachelor finale last night while the Nets and Knicks game was on commercial breaks:

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1. How much racism do you think would have been acceptable to Matt?

2. On the “she’s racist, but she’s cute and I want to bone, and that makes this a difficult decision” spectrum—which I assume ranges from “mild blackface in middle school” to “a Mein Kampf back tat”—where’s the point of no return?

3. If, for instance, the antebellum party thing happened in 2011, would it have made a difference?

4. Or if the proceeds from the party went to the United Negro College Fund?

5. I guess I’m just trying to understand, for Black people who knowingly date racists, if there’s a sliding scale?

6. A rubric?

7. What if the family is super racist—like they literally rock capes and consider themselves racist superheroes (i.e.: Captain Keep It White America, Antebellum-Man, Captain Marvel At These Coons On Welfare)—but she claims not to be?

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8. Does that matter?

9. And does attractiveness matter?

10. For instance, if you think she’s a perfect 10, is she allowed to repeat the “niggas” in “Niggas in Paris”?

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11. But if she’s just kinda cute, does she have to listen to the censored version?

12. And how much racism does “kinda cute” allow?

13. An awkward tweet about gentrification?

14. An out of context use of the word “ghetto?”

15. Using “ghetto” in any context, actually?

16. If I dated racists, I think I’d be fine with a few random, out-of-context “ghettos,” as long as she brought something else to the table, maybe?

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17. I think a consistent Snkrs app hookup might be worth some mild racism, if you were into that sort of thing—but I’m just spitballing here, I think?

18. Do you think this public racist scare is enough for Matt to stop dating racists?

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19. Or will he just be more discerning, and date racists with no internet footprints?

20. Either way, I hope he eventually finds the racist of his dreams?

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB, a contributing opinion writer for The New York Times, and the author of What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker (Ecco/HarperCollins)

DISCUSSION

Garland - Last Top Comment on Splinter

7. What if the family is super racist—like they literally rock capes and consider themselves racist superheroes (i.e.: Captain Keep It White America, Antebellum-Man, Captain Marvel At These Coons On Welfare)—but she claims not to be?

Side note: How could you overlook the South’s #1 hero, Captain Confederacy?

This was a real comic book.

He even had token sidekicks.