Screenshot: CNN

I’m not saying that the University of Virginia will be cursed forever because of what happened last year in Charlottesville.

I’m not saying that the souls of Denmark Vesey and Isabel Sanford will haunt the steps the white supremacists marched forevermore. And by “forevermore” I mean “until at least they decide to kill that goddamn Roseanne reboot.”

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I’m not saying that it cannot be a coincidence that, within a year of the tikied terrorists’ goose-stepping on their campus, the University of Virginia got punched in the mouth the same way you’d mush a Nazi.

I’m not saying that karma never sleeps, because karma is woke as fuck.

I’m not saying that “UMBC” is Swahili for “LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!”

I’m not saying any of these things. Nope. I’m not saying them at all. In fact, why are y’all even reading this blog filled with things I’m not even saying?

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Y’all need help!