The Curse of the Tiki Torch

Illustration for article titled The Curse of the Tiki Torch
Screenshot: CNN

I’m not saying that the University of Virginia will be cursed forever because of what happened last year in Charlottesville.


I’m not saying that the souls of Denmark Vesey and Isabel Sanford will haunt the steps the white supremacists marched forevermore. And by “forevermore” I mean “until at least they decide to kill that goddamn Roseanne reboot.”

I’m not saying that it cannot be a coincidence that, within a year of the tikied terrorists’ goose-stepping on their campus, the University of Virginia got punched in the mouth the same way you’d mush a Nazi.


I’m not saying that karma never sleeps, because karma is woke as fuck.

I’m not saying that “UMBC” is Swahili for “LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!”

I’m not saying any of these things. Nope. I’m not saying them at all. In fact, why are y’all even reading this blog filled with things I’m not even saying?

Y’all need help!

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB, a contributing opinion writer for The New York Times, and the author of What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker (Ecco/HarperCollins)

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Look, I don’t really care about UVA one way or the other, but “Charlottesville” happened to them like it did everyone else that day. That’s not karma; that’s not being able to catch a damn break is what it is.

Anyway, hurts my bracket, but helps my team’s chance, so...meh.