The Definitive List Of The 20 Best Times To Be Black

Barack Obama (Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)
Barack Obama (Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)

20. When you want to go on a cruise to the Bahamas and get discount conch

19. When you have a baby and you really, really, really want to name her Keisha

18. When you want to grow a beard and not have everyone think you're a gotdamn hipster

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17. When you want to date a Black woman

16. When you're at a work event with a bunch of White people and you see another Black face

15. When you're at a party and "Nigga What Nigga Who" comes on and you want to repeat the chorus

14. When you want to drive a Cadillac and you don't want people to think you're a douchebag

13. When you're going bald

12. When attending an August Wilson play

11. When you want to learn how to do the Wobble

10. When you're at a Black family reunion and you want to ask who made the potato salad

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9. When you're in a situation where you want people to assume you know how to fight even though you haven't been in a fight since 4th grade

8. When in the sun

7. When listening to Otis Fucking Redding

6. When you feel like giving dap to a random Black person you see on the street

5. When you want to talk guilt-free shit about Tyler Perry

4. When sitting on a predominately White train in the morning and you don't want anyone to sit next to you

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3. When you're a woman over 60 and still wish to look 32

2. When walking to a new court to play pick-up basketball

1. When it was the night Obama was elected President

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB, a contributing opinion writer for The New York Times, and the author of What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker (Ecco/HarperCollins)

DISCUSSION

I take issue with #1. It's interesting how almost 7 years later black liberals still declare the election of our 44th president the single greatest moment in black history. BO has been a complete disaster for blacks. The continued deification of Obama on VSB would be hysterical if it wasn't so depressing.