Steph Curry (Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)
Steph Curry (Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)

Saturday night, at approximately 10pm EST, Kyrie Irving was competing in the final round of the 2015 three point contest. The other contestants? The "Splash Brothers" — Golden State Warriors guards Stephen Curry and Klay Thompson; a duo doing the exact same thing to the NBA in 2015 that Al B. Sure and Christopher Williams did to R&B in 1988.

That the Splash Brothers both made it to the final round was no surprise. They, along with Kyle Korver of the Atlanta Hawks, were thought to be the favorites. Although Irving already won a three point contest (in 2013), he was considered an underdog. But, as he began his final round, he looked ready to win the title again.


Until, at least, Reggie Miller — the most annoying vaguely lightskinned shooter in the history of annoying vaguely lightskinned shooters — happened.

The commentary on TNT — the channel televising this event — was broadcast throughout the arena. Meaning that everyone in the arena, contestants included, could hear what we were hearing at home. During Irving's final round, Miller remarked that the only reason the Cavs were winning games now was because Lebron James is healthy. Whether that is true or not is debatable. What is not debatable is that this act of lightskinned sabotage distracted Irving, who went on to miss the next entire rack, clearing the way for one of Miller's lightskinned brethren to win.

Later that evening, Zach LaVine would go on to win the dunk contest, beating Kehinde Babatunde "Victor" Oladipo. Which means someone named "Zach LaVine" actually beat someone named "Kehinde Babatunde Victor Oladipo" in a dunk contest. And this all occurred the same weekend Drake, the lightskinned Anakin Skywalker, dropped a surprise 17-track dose of Ambien on us, effectively doing the same thing to Kendrick Lamar's "The Blacker The Berry" that "guys who looked like El DeBarge" did to "guys who didn't look like El DeBarge" in 1983.

The lightskinned revolution isn't happening. It has happened, led by people with names like "Zach" and "Klay" and "Aubrey" and "Stephen." And we all need to wake up and smell the texturizer.

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB, a columnist for, and the author of What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker (Ecco/HarperCollins)

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