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Barack Obama is truly MY president. Never in my life, have I been so actively concerned with the minutiae of another grown man's life as I have been with our commander-in-chief. I wait with bated breath for new opportunities for Barack to exude unabashed coloredness. Barack installs White House basketball court? I'm grinning with joy. Barack gives a perfectly executed "daps" to Black visitors and handshakes to White guests? Two raised hands emojis. Barack sings "Amazing Grace" on national television?  Frantic Harlem shaking. The highest praise.

So, when he dropped not one but TWO playlists on Spotify, I had to immediately stop, listen, and check the Black PH level of the playlists because, frankly, I was worried. Making a playlist for a homogeneous group is hard enough, but making a playlist for the entire country?  That's a tough task. You can't just go with one genre, you have to mix it up. You have to make your guests comfortable. As anyone who has ever thrown a social gathering with mixed company will tell you, you can't just play what YOU like. If you want to play Jay-Z, (who is notably absent from both playlists) you better stick to “Empire State of Mind” and relegate “Money Cash Hoes” to  NBA 2K background music. Sacrifices must be made.

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Even with the threat of cultural dilution looming over his head, my president managed to pick a good mix of tracks that a 54 year-old, Ivy league educated, Nobel Prize winning, Black man, raised by a White woman in Hawaii, would genuinely listen to on a vacation in Martha's Vineyard. I like to imagine Barack and Michelle on the beach lounging under the shade of an umbrella with the Day playlist coming out of Barack's Beats Pill. Here's a play-by-play.

"Ain't Too Proud to Beg" by The Temptations

Lipsyncing, Barack drops to his knees. Unbothered, Michelle reads a novel.

Barack Verified

"Live It Up" by Isley Brothers

Barack brings a reluctant Michelle to her feet. The couple dance.

Barack Verified

"Memories Live" by Talib Kweli and Hi Tek

Michelle resumes reading. Barack opens a book of his own. Nods off.

Michelle Verified

"Tombstone Blues" by Bob Dylan

Michelle asks Barack to skip this one. Barack asks her to give it a chance.

Barack Verified

"So Much Trouble in the World" by Bob Marley

Barack takes rum from the cooler. He makes Michelle a pina colada.

Barack Verified

"Paradise" by Coldplay

Michelle sips her drink. Side eye. It’s weak.

Malia Verified

"Tengo Un Trato (Remix)" by Mala Rodriguez

Feeling Tropical, Michelle drops her shawl revealing her bathing suit.

Intern suggestion

"Wang Dang Doodle" by Howlin Wolf

Barack lowers his sunglasses and raises an eyebrow. Michelle sashays to the shoreline.

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Barack Verified

"Another Star" by Stevie Wonder

Barack rushes to the shore. Michelle dips her toe in the water.

Barack Verified

"Hot Fun in the Summertime" by Sly & the Family Stone

Michelle eases into the water. Barack sneaks up behind her.

Michelle Verified

"Boozophilia" by Low Cut Connie

Barack dunks Michelle underwater. She resurfaces and shouts: “Stop playin’”

Intern suggestion

"Wherever Is Your Heart" by Brandi Carlile

Barack and Michelle frolic in the surf. Black excellence, opulence, decadence.

Intern suggestion

"Good Day" by Nappy Roots

Afro activated, Michelle trudges back to the first blanket. Barack follows behind.

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Barack Verified

"Green Light" by John Legend

Michelle dries off. Wearing a smile, she snaps Barack with a towel.

Michelle Verified

"Gimme Shelter" by Rolling Stones

The first couple lies on their blanket watching the sunset. They share crackers with brie and boysenberry jam.

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Barack Verified

"Rock Steady" by Aretha Franklin

Michelle and Barack begin to pack up their things. In an effort to impress, Barack lifts more than he should. His back surges with pain.

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Barack Verified

"Down Down the Deep River" by Okkervil River

Michelle walks ahead. Barack lags behind and enjoys the curves of her sundress.

Intern Suggestion

"Pusher Love Girl" by Justin Timberlake

Reaching the parking lot, Michelle slides on her sandals. Barefoot, Barack tries to run to Chevy Suburban One.  Burns feet.

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Malia Verified

"Shake It Out" by Florence + The Machine

Reading, Michelle sits in the front seat. Barack loads the truck.

Intern Suggestion

"La Salsa La Traigo Yo" by Sonora Carruseles

Barack asks Michelle to help him. Michelle walks outside. The couple dance subpar struggle salsa outside of the truck.

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Barack Verified

Now, I don’t want to give a play-by-play of the Evening playlist because I can’t let my mind venture too far into the first bedroom, but I’m sure when Sasha and Malia hear some of these tracks around the White House they get a tad uncomfortable. As uncomfortable as I am trying to come up with a non-Huxtable, Black, middle-aged television couple that enjoys regular sex to use as a reference.  (All Cosby related references are on hiatus until further notice.) If you’d like to get it in presidentially and make two polished teenaged daughters play these songs in succession.

John Coltrane - "My Favorite Things"

Barack Verified

Beyoncé and Frank Ocean - "Superpower"

Malia Verified

Van Morrison - "Moondance"

Barack Verified

Lianne La Havas - "Is Your Love Big Enough?"

Intern Suggestion

Al Green - "How Can You Mend a Broken Heart"

Barack Verified

Aoife O'Donovan - "Red & White & Blue & Gold"

Intern Suggestion

Lauryn Hill and D'Angelo - "Nothing Even Matters"

Michelle Verified

Frank Sinatra - "The Best Is Yet To Come"

Barack Verified

Ray Charles - "You Don't Know Me"

Barack Verified

Mary J. Blige - "I Found My Everything"

Michelle Verified

Joni Mitchell - "Help Me"

Barack Verified

Otis Redding - "I've Got Dreams To Remember"

Barack Verified

Leonard Cohen - "Suzanne"

Barack Verified

Nina Simone - "Feeling Good"

Barack Verified

The Lumineers - "Stubborn Love"

Intern Suggestion

Cassandra Wilson - "Until"

Barack Verified

Mos Def - "UMI"

Michelle Verified

Billie Holiday - "The Very Thought Of You"

Barack Verified

Miles Davis - "Flamenco Sketches"

Barack Verified

Erykah Badu - "Woo"

Barack Verified

After reviewing these playlists, I’d have to say I’m impressed with the authenticity of the choices. Badu, Lauryn, Coltrane, the Temptations, Mos Def? A liberal arts student somewhere in the midwest is going to be expanding their world listening to Barack’s playlist. But, on the flipside, there’s clearly some outright pandering going on. I work a regular ass 9 to 5 and there's no way I could be up on current alternative pop and Spanish hip-hop (Not Reaggaton straight hip-hop), but Barack is a time travel wizard and clearly a better man than I.

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I’d like to think my president never has to tone down his true self during his private moments. I hope and pray that there’s security footage of Barack shamelessly pretending to dribble a basketball around the Oval office AND slapping the door frame when he leaves the room, but maybe, I’m naive. Maybe, Barack really wanted Fire and Desire on there and felt it too distinctly colored for the masses. Did Barack really pick these tracks or was it Kori Schulmann (the staffer who wrote the whitehouse.gov press release) and a team of interns? Ya’ll let me know.