Alex Wong/Getty Images

Admittedly, after being indoctrinated by decades of politician double-speak, colloquialism, and dog-whistling — plus the screen reiterations of these types of verbal machinations on shows like House of Cards and even Game of Thrones — it's quite refreshing to hear a politician do what Congressman Steve King did yesterday. Even if what he actually said — that no one besides White people have done shit to contribute to civilization — was abhorrent and absurd, I appreciate him saying it. You just don't get many opportunities to watch someone with an actual job and a title and a staff go full racist on national TV.

Seriously, if you haven't yet, please watch Rep. King articulate his feelings about "sub-groups." Witness how he effectively mutates into a transubstantiated version of a Twitter troll with an egg profile. Pay attention to how the rest of the panel stares in abject horror and sheer befuddlement, like they're watching a rhesus monkey attempting to fuck a head of lettuce. Listen to April Ryan say "Woo" at the 44 second mark, which can totally be translated to "if someone doesn't take this silly White man back to his shift at the Cracker Barrel right now, blood will rise and fists will rain." It'll be the second best thing you'll see all day.

The best thing, of course, would be the re-viewings of Melania Michelle Trump Obama's speech. Watching it this morning reminded me of watching Cleo from Coming to America explain the difference between McDowell's and McDonald's.

Look… me and the McDonald's people got this little misunderstanding. See, they're McDonald's… I'm McDowell's. They got the Golden Arches, mine is the Golden Arcs. They got the Big Mac, I got the Big Mick. We both got two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles and onions, but their buns have sesame seeds. My buns have no seeds.

I won't say too much more about poor Melania, because every joke worth making has already been made. Instead, I'll just say that the only person feeling worse than her about her speech this morning is Steve King. All that fuss about the master race. And then, a couple hours later, the Grand Wizard's wife refutes that entire argument by stealing the words from a regular Black girl from the South Side.