The Worst Thing You Can Find Out About Your Boy


Can I tell you all a story? Even if you say no, I'm going to tell you a story. This story may be completely true. Or, it could be a possibility to illustrate a point. One may never know. So can I tell you a story?

All you gotta do is say yes. Back to my story.

So a few weeks years days some time ago, I was out with a bunch of pleasuarable belles (at brunch of course) and we came across a chap that I know; meaning, a chap that I know saw us tossing pancakes around and yelling EAZY!!!!! and came over to say whats up and "join" the fray. I can't say this cat is a friend of mine. He's somebody I know via acquaintances near and far. We also did some federal student loan time together at an instiution of higher learning somewhere upnorf. Point is, I knew him but ain't really know him. But I'd call him my boy because we knew similar people and I never really had any issue hanging out with him, though I can count on two fingers the number of times I can say we ever hung out. Friend? Naw. Homey? Eh. But could we chill at the same place at the same time? Sure. Would I let him in my home? I would. Have.


And then…

Let me take a quick detour and get to the meat of the matter then back to the weeds. There are few things any dude ever wants to find out about his boy or a cat he might refer to others as his "boy". Like no dude wants to find out that his boy is a cheater. But you really only care if its your close friend. If one of my closest friends told me he cheated on his woman, fiancee, or wife, I'd be mad as hell. And genuinely disappointed. Things is, with cats I just know casually, I'd never really find out unless we end up in some conversation where he goes into braggadacious male mode. And I have the choice to just not deal with him anymore.

See also: actively robs people, is just a bad apple, hates his mother, etc. You know, the same stuff women don't like.

But there's one thing you never want to find out about any dude that you're hanging out with. Of course you don't want to find out that your boy raped anybody. But I'm going to take a step back. That person is a stain on society, but chances are you'd never find out unless you were attempting to date him and you googled "sexual offenders I hope to never date". And since I'm not, I ain't. Like there's a really good chance that you'd never find out until it was too late that some dude you knew was somebody you needed to hide your kids or hide your wife from because he was rapin' everybody out here.


So what you really hate to find out about your boy? Is that he's…rapey. Which is what I found out. And I was madahelshawty. Because nobody wants hang with a rapey dude.

Here's why.

Rapey dudes make you uncomfortable and nobody likes discomfort. Period.

Back to the story.

We out. Me, myself, and the ladies in tow are out drinking and brunching and tossing around pancakes and he comes over to say whats up. He and I, who hadn't seen each other in a while, chop it up. He asks me if the ladies are with me. They are. He assesses the situation and asks questions. All in play here. The ladies aren't my property. They're God's Property. GP are you with me?



Moving on. Well, hombre asks to join us and we're like cool because there's no real reason to say no; we just chillin' at brunch laid back kickin' it enjoyin' the vibe. Well buddy boy starts attempting to get too familiar but I assess it as just the side effects of being mimosa'd out.


You know how Chief Keef had the song "Sosa"? How come nobody ever remixed it to "Mimosa"? These things keep me up at night.


At some point we get ready to leave and dude is like yo, can you run me to my house because my ride left me. I say yes of course because from what he tells me he lives close, we been drankin' and he had more than us. No problem. I'm a humanitarian. And I'd hope that if I was in need of a ride and I saw a familiar face, they'd do the same for me.


This is when shit gets bad fast. I'll skip the details because they get detailed. But let's just say, not only did he weird out the women, this nigga weirded ME out. I've never had a man look at me and make me feel like I needed to reassess the decisions I make about my friends. I immediately regretted giving this motherfucker a lift. I actually apologized to at least two of the women involved for bringing a rapey dude around them. I honestly had no idea.

It made me mad. Because you never want to be the guy who brings the rapey dude around, unless you too are rapey and there's a good chance you don't even realize it. I hope. It would take some type of sick fuckness to be a rapey cat, be okay with it, and still trudge through life in said fashion.


Point is, I was genuinely disappointed in that moment because even though I never really thought anything was going to happen, I felt like I put myself in a position to not be in total control of the situation either. I brought somebody in who put my whole situation in flux and I had people I cared about directly in the path of it all.

I got home and called my boy and was like, "yo XYZDATNIGGA is rapey!" My other boy was like, "yeah, I don't really mess with him either for similar reasons. He just rubbed me the wrong way." See what I did there? Rapey.


So yeah…I'm gonna call it. This is the worst thing you can find out about your boy (short of being an actual rapist).

What do you all think? Whats the worst thing you can find out about your boy or your girl?

Panama Jackson is the Senior Editor of Very Smart Brothas. He's pretty fly for a light guy. You can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking all her brown liquors.

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Sigma_Since 93

The Worst Thing You Can Find Out About Your Boy:

He cusses at his momma
He Ikes women
He ogles women you're chilling with
He doesn't take up time with his kids but can kicks it with yours or anyone else s
Hawaii likes to visit his house…a lot but he's always asking you to come through