There's a 'Black Movie Test' Floating Around That's Too Easy. Here's a 'Black Movie Test' to See If You're Really Dedicated to the Cause

Illustration for article titled There's a 'Black Movie Test' Floating Around That's Too Easy. Here's a 'Black Movie Test' to See If You're Really Dedicated to the Cause
Screenshot: Harlem Nights (Paramount Pictures)

I love the internet. Along with allowing me to order shit off of Amazon and it be at my doorstep before I hit “Place Your Order,” there are also a tremendous number of tests, quizzes and other things to pass the day. Which brings us to the point of today’s sermon. In a work Slack, a “Black Movie Test” was shared amongst the colleagues. Please, let’s take a gander; a goose, if you will.

Advertisement

Now, I don’t know if the @real_JoshJones made up this list. I don’t know anything about him. He might be a swell chap, but this list is interesting and curious for many reasons. Here are a few:

  • Who stops at 47? If you can come up with 47 you can come up with 50. I feel like 47 is an omen.
  • Several movies are VERY questionable as Black movies: Training Day, 8 Mile, Four Brothers, American Gangster, Honey (!!!!!), Freedom Writers all have Black people in them, but there are definitely more than just Black leads. Hell, the poster for Freedom Writers highlights Hilary Swank and Patrick Dempsey. Them shits ain’t Black movies up in my house.
  • Is City of God really a Black movie like the rest? And what makes a Black movie for these purposes? Like, if you don’t include that movie, I think nothing of it, but since it’s there, I haz questions. For instance, City of God is a Brazilian movie that is chock full of Black people, much like Brazil. That’s like putting Nollywood films on this list. I feel like there’s an American Black movie theme going on here that City of God doesn’t fit.
  • This list of movies is too easy to be considered a true Black Movie Test. You can fall on your remote and end up watching Coach Carter. I feel like a test should come with a level of difficulty. Not just a list of movies that runs on TNT, TBS and Aspire around the clock. Like, I’d never put a Tyler Perry movie on a Black Movie Test. If you watch BET, you’re watching Tyler Perry films as a rule at this point. Or The Oval.

Well, since I feel like you can’t criticize shit unless you are going to be the change you want to see, I decided to put together a list of 50 (FIFTY) movies that I think are more challenging for purposes of doing a Black Movie Test. Like, if you have seen some of these movies it implies a dedication to the Black movie cause that isn’t necessarily required to see Malcolm X or Selma at this point. Also, for the record, I’ve seen every single movie in that Tweet at least twice. Every single one.

So here is a list of Black movies that I think require you to be like, “Yeah, my family is watching Black movies this weekend to make sure Amazon Prime doesn’t stop accepting films from cats like Murda Pain and all of southwest Detroit.”

Advertisement

Give yourself a point for each movie and, well, if you get five or more consider yourself...down for the cause? I don’t know. You probably drink Red Kool-Aid still. No judgment; I would if my wife would let me.

Anyway, here’s a slightly more challenging Blackness test. Fight amongst yourselves.

Advertisement
Illustration for article titled There's a 'Black Movie Test' Floating Around That's Too Easy. Here's a 'Black Movie Test' to See If You're Really Dedicated to the Cause
Graphic: Panama Jackson

Thanks, Obama.

Panama Jackson is the Senior Editor of Very Smart Brothas. He's pretty fly for a light guy. You can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking all her brown liquors.

DISCUSSION

cakes_and-pies

Just like the first list, this list consists of Black movies from your generation and lacks good Black movies that weren’t that mainstream, but resonate to this day. These are just a few:

-Cornbread Earl and Me

-Sweet Sweetback’s Baadasssss Song

-Imitation of Life (if Mahalia Jackson is in it, it’s a Black ass Black movie)

-Watermelon Man

-The Last Black Man in San Francisco

-Claudine