Let our next greatest achievement be realizing the dream of full equality for all of us ...

- Human Rights Campaign President, Alphonso David, as reported by Maiysha Kai -

Advertisement

This Alleged Relationship Contract Between 8th Graders Is The Greatest Thing You'll Ever See

@maxlinsky via Twitter
@maxlinsky via Twitter

I still have doubts about whether this relationship contract found and tweeted by Longform.org founder Max Linsky (@maxlinsky) today is real. But I'm going to officially choose to believe that it is. Because that choice allows me to officially acknowledge it as the greatest thing I've ever seen.

Advertisement

Also, it being real means it was created by the best 8th grader who's ever existed. If there were some sort of draft lottery for future VSB contributors and editors — and future mentors for my daughter — this kid (who I'm assuming is a girl) would be the first pick. She'd be the Lebron James of future blogger/daughter mentor 8th graders. It'll also allow me to incorporate "fist bump these hoes" into my general lexicon, as this is a phrase I never knew I've always needed in my life until I actually saw it.

And, although this is a contract created by an 8th grader and apparently signed (!!!) by another, it's a surprisingly accurate and succinct distillation of adult relationship expectations too. Feed me, hug me, don't hug hoes —- really, what else is there?

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB, a contributing opinion writer for The New York Times, and the author of What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker (Ecco/HarperCollins)

Share This Story

Get our newsletter

DISCUSSION

I don't find this cute at all.