I’m not going to do a minute-by-minute recap of this video. I can’t. You just have to watch it. I’m literally too flabbergasted to do so. And I don’t get flabbergasted often, but this video ... good gotdamn. Watching white folks whitefolkin’ is something we’re all used to by this point, but Meek Mill could not envision the levels of white to which these motherfuckers have achieved in this video. We’re talking secret levels in “World of Warcraft” white. We’re talking sniffin’ cocaine on a white linen tablecloth wearing white tube socks in a snowstorm while eating cauliflower with salt in the North Pole.
This video is what I imagine happens in white living rooms at every holiday and while watching Fox News on a daily basis.
These white people don’t believe that any of the women who allege Roy Moore engaged in sexual misconduct with them are telling the truth. These white people think that African Americans are stupid for voting against what they say are their best interests, which would be conservative policies and Republicans—even (alleged) pedophiles.
These white people think that Roy Moore is not guilty, but I’ll bet they think Colin Kaepernick is what’s wrong with America. These white people believe that Roy Moore is innocent until proved guilty, though I’m pretty sure that all of them think Trayvon Martin was guilty of something.
These white people think all the women are being paid to claim that Roy Moore engaged with them inappropriately. These white people think that race relations in Alabama were fine until Barack Obama showed up. These people think Alabama doesn’t really have a race problem anyway.
These white people think that sinful Roy Moore probably repented, so it’s OK. These white people think that Alabama in 1977 was a place where you married 13-year-olds and maybe Roy Moore was just a victim of his time. These white people think there are a lot of mamas and daddies who would be thrilled that a district attorney was hitting on their 14-year-old.
These white people are who you think of when you think of the state of Alabama, because these white people think that Roy Moore has integrity. These white people think Bill Clinton was a womanizer because somebody filed a claim and if a court case isn’t filed, you must not be a womanizer. These white people think that immigrants are taking black folks’ jobs.
These white people are an embarrassment to the state of Alabama. These white people are also indicative of the state of Alabama. These white people are why Alabama is about to embarrass itself and possibly end up with a man who, if he were in Congress right now, would get kicked out.
I read an article talking about folks in Alabama—in particular current Sen. Richard Shelby—worried about the reputation of the state if Roy Moore is elected. And everybody who feels that way is right. The potential election of this man to national office points quite clearly to the fact that enough people in the state are fucking idiots who are willing to cut off their noses to spite their faces.
For those of us with even a modicum of decency who are from Alabama or who have lived in Alabama, we’re all watching this hoping for the best while realizing that this video represents our neighbors, co-workers and, in some cases, family members. Individuals are smart, people are dumb. And this video, unfortunately, is representative of far more dumbass people than are participating in it.
The people in this video are the enemy of progress. These are regular ol’ Alabama white people. The state motto is “We dare to defend our rights.” Well, sometimes that means defending the right to be dumb.
These white people aren’t all of Alabama, but they’re Alabama.
Alabama the beaut ... never mind.