Wait...Drake Is Your For Real Pretend Boo?!

Kevin Winter/Getty Images
Kevin Winter/Getty Images

Despite all of the relentless and hilarious mocking of one Aubrey Drake Graham, he's really having the best 2010's ever. He's got hits on hits on hits, definitely has racks on racks on racks, and pretty much everything he does manages to work. Hell, I'm a fan. I even feel like I owe him an apology after clowning If You're Reading This, It's Too Late. I love that album. It's possible I listen to it more than any other album right now. I also run through various areas with my woes.


Not the woes that people who aren't hip to pop culture run with ie sadnesses, but the kind that Drake is talking about. I'm looking at you, uncool people.

What I've also noticed about Drake is how many women I know have an active crush on him. And not like groupie types, either; I'm talking women I know well who contribute to society and the Black community in ways that are impressive. Which is fine. Drake seems like a pretty sincere dude. For all of his talk about being last name EVER, first name GREATEST, and his affinity for strippers, and Toronto, he's just as known for his ability to tap into his emotional core and speak from that part of his essence that is communicative, transparent, and compromising: basically everything all women who read want their man to be. Long gone are the days of the strong, silent type. Now strong and emotive rules the day…in the home at least. Thanks, Obama.


And this is allegedly Drake. Let's be real, while hip-hop is supposed to be authentic, we really don't know shit about most of these guys. Same with all of our pop culture famous couples. We assume they're who we want them to be which is fine; you can't have a role model without focusing on the things you want them to be to you. We can only hope that the walls do not come tumbling down. *coughBillandCamille*

So while knowing that women love Drake for the reasons I stated - all reasonable requirements, mind you - and realizing that his new beard has turned him into some kind of heartthrob (it was just a few years ago when folks were saying he looked like a burnt candle or Manny from Ice Age) as opposed to the famous dude who made "Best I Ever Had", I still found myself befuddled the other day when I accidentally stumbled upon a real conversation between two very educated women.

I didn't even have to ear hustle the convo, they were spittin' so much realness from their souls that I think they wanted others to hear it.

These two women were discussing the dating woes (see what I did there?) of one of the women. Specifically an issue one was having with some dude she was interested in who apparently wouldn't act right. And it's not that he couldn't, he just seemed to 'pacifically NOT be acting right, on purpose. As a choice. He was making a string of bad choices it seemed. Which he is wont to do. Well, this particular woman was non-plussed and wondered aloud, as many women are also wont to do, why he wouldn't just do right?


To be fair, based on the convo that I heard, buddy was indeed…fucking up. It all sounded like the type of an-apology-is-coming fucking up that guys do when their pride gets in front of their common sense on the Love Train. Shouts to Con Funk Shun. To be more fair, the entire convo was also one-sided. My man was not there to defend (or convict) himself. But that's also not important. What happened NEXT was what threw me for a loop.

"You know, Drake wouldn't this."

Now of course, it's entirely possible that they meant some other dude named Drake. They can't possibly be talking about rapper and lightskint extraordinaire, 6 God, Drake right?


"Girl, you're right. I'd be the best he ever had. He keeps it so real in his songs. Like he might mess up, but he'd apologize."

Le sigh.

"That's what I'm saying. Like, Drake would be a nigga, becuase he is, but you know at the end of the day he'd come home and like give you a back rub and tell you how beautiful you are. Because that's who Drake is. Your dude is just trippin. I wish we could all date Drake."


Le sigh more. It continued on like that for at least another five minutes.

Now, its one thing if they sounded like they were joking. But this sounded like a regular conversation that could happen while the club was going up on a Tuesday. There's nothing wrong with this. At all. It was more hilarious than disturbing. But it got me to thinking, does this shit happen…like regularly? Is Drake actually many women's ideal boyfriend in their head, to the point where when having problems in their own situations, Drake comes up?


Is this a thing? Is Drake the third party in a lot of relationships where God is supposed to be? Are women measuring their men up against Drake?

I doubt that's the case. Seriously. But after hearing that convo and bouncing that off of a few more women I know, it seems that Drake does seem to be a guy that many women view as an ideal dating partner. I tend to think he's more of a "regular" dude than he isn't and would probably do all of the exact same shit most guys do. He'd just then go write a song about it and women would say, "see, he sees the problem and is holding himself accountable", meanwhile the girl he screwed over is still waiting for that apology phone call listening to his new songs like "duck Frake".


Or maybe not. It's not something I ponder frequently. However, I've come to find out that there's an entire demographic that has devoted considerable time to the idea of Drake as their boyfriend.  For play play.

But…for real, for real.


So far gone? Or nah?

Panama Jackson is the Senior Editor of Very Smart Brothas. He's pretty fly for a light guy. You can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking all her brown liquors.

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I feel like Drake's period would inevitable sync up with mine if we ever became friends. That'd be straight, we could buy ice cream and tampons together and talk about our feelings.