If you ever wanted to 1. know who the nine ashiest people in America are and 2. watch me on camera revealing the list, today is your day. Today is your birthday. Behold as I list the folks whose ashiness transcends the physical and becomes spiritual—metaphysical, even. This is what happens when both your skin and your soul need Lubriderm.
Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB, a columnist for GQ.com, and the author of What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker (Ecco/HarperCollins)